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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263345">Meanwhile, The World Goes On</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat'>MauveCat</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Endless Summer (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, M/M, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:35:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to Diego in the six months that the Catalysts were lost in time?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Diego Soto/Varyyn (Endless Summer)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title is from "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>MEANWHILE, THE WORLD GOES ON</p><p> </p><p>Chapter One</p><p> </p><p>I trudge down the stairs carved into the center of the Great Tree of Elyys'tel, aching and weary. I have never been this tired in my life.</p><p>Our mission was a failure. There is no kinder word I can use, even in my own mind. We were ordered to bring all the Catalysts back, and we were only able to retrieve one – and that one tried twice to escape during our long march, even with his hands bound and surrounded by warriors far larger than he. Even worse, we returned with no more knowledge of the Hydra and his plans than we had when we left. Seraxa seethed and fumed all the way back, breaking her silence only to bark orders.</p><p>When we entered the city we were greeted by what seemed to be the entire population of Elyys'tel, all jostling for a chance to see a Catalyst – a figure of myth to some, a threat to others, and to others still, simply something strange and alien to gossip about. Before I could find words to form a protest that I had no right to make in the first place, Seraxa had called over the city guard and ordered them to take the captive to a cell. As he was yanked away from my side, it almost seemed that he tried to meet my eyes, looking for... what? Reassurance? Protection? Whatever he searched for, I was unable to give it to him.</p><p>Most of the warriors were ordered to disperse, to tend their wounds – all minor, fortunately – and to rest. A few of us, however, were told to go to the throne room to report directly to the elyyshar. I was not surprised to be among them.</p><p>The throne room was, to my relief, largely empty. My mother sat on her dais, of course, and she did not bother to hide her relief when she saw me enter. However, her questions to me were as curt and direct as the ones aimed at Anzhaal and Dalaunaa, the two others selected to give accounts of the battle.</p><p>Seraxa was there, as of course the war chief should be. There were two guards at the door and the only other occupant was Uqzhaal. He sat on a cushioned chair near my mother, grasping his staff nervously. He was uninterested in the battle itself; instead, his questions were all about the Catalysts. He leaned forward and demanded details on the appearances of those we encountered, descriptions of their behavior, anything at all that would help him match these strange young people to his most cherished legends.</p><p>The interview seemed to go on forever, but finally my mother sat back and sighed. Now I have been ordered to go below and bring the captive back so she can see him for herself.</p><p>Fortunately, two of my friends in the city guard are on duty tonight. Paravet stands as I enter. “Varyyn!” She walks over to me and wraps her arms around my neck. “We were worried about you.” For a moment I bury my face in her dark green curls, enjoying the familiar comfort of her embrace.</p><p>Mauri doesn't rise from his chair. “She was worried. I just want to hear all about it. Is it true that one of them had four arms and wielded a sword in each?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“Pity. That would have been a good story.” His words are light, but he looks at me closely. “Well, you don't seem to be damaged. I suppose you're here for... whatever we're calling whoever is in the cell.”</p><p>“I am. Elyyshar Ximaedra wants to interrogate him.”</p><p>“You're always so formal about your mother. It's amusing.” Mauri looks at one of the other guards. “You two go on ahead and bring him up. We'll catch up with you – I have a few questions for Varyyn.” He turns to me when the others have gone, avid curiosity in his eyes. “I want to hear all about the battle. Is it true that all the other Catalysts escaped? That they just...” he waves his hands in front of him. “Disappeared in a blaze of light and a roar of thunder?”</p><p>Sighing, I nod. I usually enjoy Mauri's dramatics but I am tired, and I am not in the mood. “Something like that.”</p><p>“Do you believe they are really the Catalysts?” Paravet frowns, clearly disturbed. “Does this mean that Raan'losti is upon us?”</p><p>Mauri snorts and leans against the wall. He starts swinging his owl mask by its cords. “Raan'losti is a myth. The Catalysts, the lost idols, the end of the world – all of it. Stories told to frighten children.”</p><p>“But...” Paravet lowers her voice. “I only got a glimpse of him but he <em>must</em><span> be a Catalyst. He certainly isn't a Vaanti! He looks so... strange. Did they all look like him?”</span></p><p>“No.” I wave them in front of me and we all start down the stairs leading to the cells. “Some are darker, some are more fair. Their hair seems to come in many colors.”</p><p>“So who is darker, the men or the women?” Paravet asks.</p><p>“There doesn't seem to be a pattern.”</p><p>Paravet stops. “Wait. The men and the women... their skin can be the same color?” She gapes at me as she tries to understand. “Do you think that ever confuses them?”</p><p>“I doubt it. Or do you think they have other differences beneath their clothes?”</p><p>“I didn't mean – I just wondered – it seems so peculiar!” She is blushing and from the sudden heat in my face, I know I am as well. Mauri is always blunt. Sometimes it is charming and sometimes it is not.</p><p>Shrugging, Mauri continues down the stairs, Paravet and I following behind. “Who knows what sort of beings live elsewhere? For all we know, somewhere there are creatures with a single leg who hop everywhere they go. All I wonder is how he can hear anything with those tiny ears.” We reach a landing and I turn to take the passageway leading to the cells. “Not that way,” Mauri says as he takes a different turn. “War Chief Seraxa told us to take him below.”</p><p>“Below? She ordered you to put him in the underground cells?” I can hear the shock in my own voice. “But they have been unused since the War of the Three Tribes.”</p><p>“That is probably why Seraxa insisted. She is not one to take unnecessary risks and until we know how dangerous he is, she wants him kept as secure as possible.”</p><p>I try to hide my dismay as we go down another flight of stairs, lit by flickering torches. I cannot believe this is necessary, but I also know I cannot protest. Yet another flight down, we finally hear footsteps coming toward us and we stop on the landing. I see the guards first, and then I see....</p><p>I was tired. I was aching and weary. But now, all I feel is fury as I see fresh bruises on the captive's face and arms. “Who did this?”</p><p>The two guards look at each other uncomfortably. “It was an accident, Varyyn. He missed a step – we had no idea he would fall.”</p><p>I take a breath to steady my voice. “He is exhausted, and his hands are still bound. You should have been more careful with him.” I step forward and cautiously extend my hand toward the prisoner. He looks at me uncertainly, but he does not pull away. I begin to lead him upstairs. I keep my grip on his arm light so he will know I do not intend to add to his injuries. “All right, I will take him to the throne room.”</p><p>“Varyyn....”</p><p>I look over my shoulder at Paravet and Mauri. “We are in the heart of Elyys'tel. If I manage to lose him here, I do not deserve to be my mother's son.” I do not wait for an answer.</p><p>
  <span>The captive does not speak as we ascend, and he does not hide the anxious looks he gives me. I cannot tell if he is afraid of me and I try not to think about why the possibility that he is causes me such discomfort.</span>
</p><p>Then we are at the entrance of the throne room. We enter... and now I know he is not afraid of me. I know this with absolute certainty because as he enters the room, I can feel his fright. Without meaning to, I put a hand on his back to steady him and for a moment – although surely I must be imagining this – he leans back against me. He is trembling, and his breath comes quickly, and I can feel the cold sweat through his shirt. His expression, though, changes hardly at all. His face is still and tight and I wonder what kind of world he comes from, that he can so easily hide his fear.</p><p>The room is silent as we enter. Uqzhaal is on his feet and his crimson eyes are flooded with emotion. Seraxa looks fixedly at one of the carved faces on the wall. My mother stares at the captive for just a moment before she turns me. “This is... I see.” She seems to be struggling for words.</p><p>“It is truly... I... I cannot believe -” Uqzhaal blinks back tears and lowers himself back into his chair. “All my life, I have dreamed of this moment but... I can scarcely believe it.” He stares raptly at the young man at my side. “To think that I have lived long enough to witness proof of the Endless's teachings!”</p><p>“I am sure that the confirmation of your faith is more than worth the threat to all the Vaanti,” Seraxa bites out. “I hope you do not mind if some of us worry more about the safety of our people?”</p><p>“That is enough, Seraxa.” For the first time, Mother looks directly at the captive and her face goes still when she sees the marks on his skin. She turns her gaze to Seraxa. Her voice is mild and controlled – but oh, everyone in the throne room is aware of her anger. “I gave orders that the Catalysts were to be brought to Elyys'tel unharmed.”</p><p>Seraxa glowers. “It's not my fault the boy bruises like a piece of ripe fruit.” Uqzhaal opens his mouth to speak but she barely glances at him before continuing. “My warriors were perfectly aware of your orders, my elyyshar. But the Catalysts were... <em>unwilling</em><span>... to meekly follow us back like a row of baby birds behind their mother. I told you they would put up a struggle.”</span></p><p>“You should have tried harder to bring them back peacefully!” Gripping his staff, Uqzhaal hauls himself to his feet and hobbles over to the war chief. “Did you even try to explain -”</p><p>“Explain!” Seraxa laughs harshly. I feel the captive flinch beside me and I risk a quick glance down at him; his strange dark eyes are darting helplessly from Seraxa to my mother to Uqzhaal. “And what words would they have understood, my dear Uqzhaal? They would not have known the difference between 'isn't it a lovely morning' and 'look out, your hair is on fire,' no matter how politely the words were spoken.”</p><p>“Nevertheless -” Uqzhaal stops and takes a deep breath. When he speaks again, his voice is honeyed and lethal. “I am sure your warriors exercised great care. That is probably why they were only able to retrieve one of the Catalysts.” He glances over his shoulder at Dalaunaa. “The smallest of the Twelve, I believe you said?” I shoot a quick glare at my friend and she gives me a small embarrassed shrug.</p><p>“There were at least two smaller than --”</p><p>
  <span>My mother stands and Seraxa falls silent. “Enough, both of you.” She descends from the dais and stands in front of the captive. He flinches again, but does not step back. “If he </span>
  <em>is</em>
  <span> one of the Catalysts foretold by the Endless, is he here to prevent the destruction of our world, or is he here to ensure it? Is Raan'losti a myth, or a prophecy?” Her gaze and her voice sharpen. “Well? How are we to solve this dilemma?”</span>
</p><p>The captive shrugs and shakes his head. He speaks; his words are meaningless, his voice is hoarse and cracked and I wonder if anyone has bothered to give him water since we arrived in Elyys'tel. I made sure he drank some during our rest periods on the long journey from the Hydra's stronghold but that was hours ago....</p><p>Seraxa steps forward, “We must find out what the Hydra is planning.” She looks at the captive. “What brings you to our island?” Once again, all he can do is shake his head. Seraxa heaves an angry breath. When she speaks again, her voice is slower and louder. “Are there many of your people? Are they following close behind you? Answer me, or -”</p><p>“Bah!” Uqzhaal stumps forward to stand beside Seraxa. “There is no need to threaten him. Is there, my boy?” He looks expectantly at the captive. When there is no reply, he frowns a little. “I am sure the Catalysts can give us great insights into the prophecies.” He pauses and then, like Seraxa, he begins speaking more slowly and clearly. “After all, the words of the Endless tell us of your importance. Do you... know... the Endless?” He trails off hopefully.</p><p>The captive sighs and speaks. His words are slow and measured and they mean nothing. He keeps speaking; his voice gets louder and slower and he glares at both Seraxa and Uqzhaal, finally finishing up in a shout. He falls silent, looks around at all of us and throws up his bound hands in a mute, eloquent gesture. I have to bite back a smile. Even if neither the war chief nor the shaman recognize the absurdity of our situation, it is clear that he does.</p><p>Apparently, so does my mother. She sighs and turns away. “I think we need to try something else.” She nods at Anzhaal and he steps forward. “Take him back to his cell. And the rest of you – “ she waves her arm at those standing guard – “resume your duties. We must decide on our next step.” I put my hand on the captive's shoulder and gently urge him toward the door, but my mother catches my eye before we exit. “You will remain, Varyyn.”</p><p>“Of course, my elyyshar.” I look down at the captive and there is no mistaking the edge of panic in his eyes as Anzhaal's hand replaces mine. Although I know he cannot understand, I lower my voice and say, “It will be all right.” I am not sure if I want to comfort him or myself. After a moment, he gives me a small nod and lets himself be taken away. As Dalaunaa passes me, I lean toward her. “Will you untie him and make sure someone gets him some water and something to eat? And... do not take him back underground. Surely all the warriors of Elyys'tel can manage to guard him in one of the regular cells.” She does not answer but she gives me a reassuring smile as she follows the others out of the throne room. Only Seraxa and Uqzhaal remain with me and my mother.</p><p>When everyone else is gone and their footsteps have faded away, my mother walks back to her throne but does not sit; she stands next to it, tapping her fingers against the gnarled armrest. “So. We have one Catalyst. Eleven have vanished. There is no sign of the Hydra, and we are no closer to discovering his purpose.” She glances at Uqzhaal, and then at Seraxa. “What path should we take next?”</p><p>Uqzhaal speaks first. “We must have faith in the Endless.” His voice is resolute. “All the ancient teachings tell us that we must protect the Catalysts, and trust in them, and they will show us the way to our salvation.” Seraxa snorts; Uqzhaal's lips compress into a thin line but that is his only reaction. “Does our war chief have an alternative plan? After all, her mission to bring the Catalysts to us was clearly a failure.”</p><p>“My mission was -” Seraxa looks at my mother and visibly swallows her outburst. “My elyyshar, your orders were to bring the Catalysts to Elyys'tel unharmed. My warriors were... unprepared to face as much resistance as they did, and they were unfamiliar with the layout of the enemy's stronghold. My scouts gave me the best reports they could. I admit that it was not enough.”</p><p>“Yes.” My mother nods and begins pacing the throne room. “Based on our scouts' reports, none of us expected the Catalysts to put up more than a token fight, let alone escape from a band of our best warriors.” She looks at me. “And what are your thoughts, my son?”</p><p>I hesitate and try to choose my words carefully, not looking at either Seraxa or Uqzhaal. “It's not my place to speak as one of your advisors.”</p><p>“No, it is not,” my mother agrees placidly. “But you are the only person in this room who has had an encounter with the Catalysts. I am beginning to think it was a grievous mistake that we did not ask for your thoughts before we formed our plan.” She shakes her head and turns to the others. “Enough of this. We will not solve this problem easily or quickly. Leave us now. I will call for you after we have all had some time to consider our options.” Seraxa and Uqzhaal both bow stiffly – she because of her anger, and he because of his age – and leave in different directions.</p><p>Mother waits for a few moments, and then sighs. She looks over at me. “You must be tired, Varyyn. I know you haven't had a chance to rest since your return, but have you at least eaten something?”</p><p>“A little. I don't seem to have much of an appetite at the moment.”</p><p>Her mouth quirks up in a small rueful smile. “I am not surprised. Come with me anyway – I could use some company right now.” She turns and opens the door leading to her personal chambers and I follow her inside. She seems to relax as soon as the door closes behind us. Her shoulders slump just a little as she removes her long veil, placing it carefully on the back of a chair. “Sit down, my son.” She walks to another room as I light a few lamps. By the time I've seated myself she returns with two goblets. Handing one to me, she sits beside me and takes a long drink of her wine. She nods at one of the lamps. “Thank you for that – I've never enjoyed sitting in the dark.”</p><p>“Of course.” For a moment, my thoughts turn to the captive and I wonder if he will have some kind of light in his cell. I do not like to think of him sitting alone in the dark....</p><p>“Be honest with me.” Mother looks into her wine, not at me. I am grateful for that – perhaps she did not notice that my mind was wandering. “Do you think I made the right decision, sending Seraxa to bring the Catalysts to us?”</p><p>Once again, I consider my words before speaking. “I... do not know if it was right or wrong, but I think it was the only decision you could have made. We need to discover the Hydra's plans. We need to know why he and his people disappeared so suddenly, and we need to know why these new people – whether or not they truly are the Catalysts – appeared just as suddenly. We need answers, and what good would waiting have done?”</p><p>“That is an excellent point.” She sighs and rubs her forehead. “I suppose... in a way, it might be fortunate that we were only able to capture one of them. As much trouble as we went through to get him, I can only imagine the struggle it would have been to bring all of them back to Elyys'tel.” She shakes her head and looks at me. “I do not enjoy risking the lives of my people. And I do not enjoy....” She glances away for a moment, then brings her eyes back to me. “I did not want to send you on this mission, you know.”</p><p>I nod. “I know. But as you said, I have been on the scouting trips and I have encountered them before. And....” I shrug. “I do not understand how my mind could have linked with that of their leader. But it happened, and it should have given us an advantage.” I smile, trying to lighten the mood at least a little. “It did not work, unfortunately.”</p><p>“I know. Believe me, I know.” Mother sinks a bit into her chair. “Seraxa says you have not sensed their leader's mind since she vanished with the other Catalysts. Is that true?”</p><p>“It is.” I sip at my wine. “I no longer feel her presence, no matter how far I reach. They are either too far away to sense, or they are dead.”</p><p>“I... see.” Mother's face falls at that. “I truly did not want any of them harmed. In a way, I hope they merely escaped.” She waits for me to answer; when I remain silent, she continues. “So. Tell me what you observed of them so we can try to prepare. Seraxa believes they fought so hard because they were defending the Hydra's secrets. Do you agree with her?”</p><p>I mull over the question for a few moments. “Honestly, I do not. I haven't discussed it in detail with anyone else, but as far as I could tell they were not protecting any particular area of the stronghold. I think... I think their only intention was to defend themselves.”</p><p>“Yes, I believe that they have courage. After all, this one, even as a prisoner and surrounded by strangers, was unafraid to shout at both Seraxa and Uqzhaal. I spoke to Anzhaal and Dalaunaa while you were bringing the Catalyst to me. Anzhaal was inclined to agree with Seraxa, but Dalaunaa was not. I will not share this with my advisors for now, but... I believe you are correct. And if that is true, and if the others are not dead, they will surely return at some point for their friend.”</p><p>I have no doubt of that. I frown a little, gathering my thoughts. “Most of them are clearly not trained to fight, but they all showed courage and cleverness. Physically, most of them are smaller than the Vaanti, and slower. Most of them are not particularly strong. They do not seem to hear or see as sharply as we do. But while they cannot match us in prowess, they have determination to make up for it. I think if we meet again, we'd be no more likely to win in a second fight. Or if we do win, it will be at a high cost – to us, and to them.”</p><p>“That is... an honest assessment.” Mother smiles at me. “I imagine you haven't said this to our war chief.”</p><p>“Since you did not raise me to be a fool, I have not.”</p><p>Finally, Mother laughs and relaxes. “Discretion is an important trait for a leader.” Her smile fades; she stands and begins pacing. “Seraxa told me that you took a blow to the head. How did it happen?”</p><p>“Actually, it was thanks to him.” I gesture to the floor, indicating the cells far beneath us.</p><p>“Are you serious? He is only -” She hold a hand out, indicating the captive's height. “How did he manage that?” she asks in wonder.</p><p>In spite of myself, I grin as I remember the fight. “He and their leader – the yellow-haired female – seem to be close friends. I fought them both. She got in most of the blows and while I was distracted, he broke a chair over my head.” Mother stares at me, and I shrug. “I told you, they have courage and cleverness.”</p><p>“Well, I am glad that you don't seem to hold a grudge against him.” Her eyes narrow a bit. “I am very glad.” She sits again and is silent for a few moments. She takes a drink of her wine. “Tell me. When your mind linked with their leader's, did you understand their language?”</p><p>“In a way.” I frown and struggle for words to explain. There are very few mindtalkers among the Vaanti, never more than a dozen in each generation, and it is difficult to express the sensation to those who have never experienced it. “I do not think I could repeat a single word of their language, but somehow...” I gesture at my forehead. “It's still in here. I imagine it could be unlocked somehow. Perhaps Uqzhaal knows a way?”</p><p>“Interesting....” Mother falls silent. I wait for her to say something; just as I open my mouth to ask if she is all right, she nods decisively. “Yes. Perhaps Uqzhaal does know a way, but I would prefer a solution that does <em>not</em> require him to rummage about in your mind.” She stands and places her empty goblet on a table. “We cannot learn the Catalysts' purpose if we do not understand them. We must learn their language, and you have an advantage.”</p><p>“Mother, you don't expect me to....” She lifts an eyebrow and I sigh. She is right. Even if the other Catalysts are gone for good, one remains here in Elyys'tel. “You are correct, of course. We need answers, and we will never find them if we cannot communicate.” I finish my wine and get to my feet. “When would you like me to start?”</p><p>“Not now, obviously. You have had a difficult day and I think it is safe to say that the Catalyst's day has been far worse. You both need rest. Would you be willing to speak to him tomorrow?”</p><p>I lower my head, accepting the command. I appreciate that she frames her order as a request. Stepping forward, she pulls me into a warm embrace. She murmurs into my shoulder, “I am so grateful that you returned safely, my son. But I must keep all of the Vaanti safe. Do you understand?”</p><p>“I do. That is also an important trait for a leader.” I smile to let her know that I intend no criticism.</p><p>She returns my smile, and pulls me down to kiss my forehead. “Go, then, and rest. We will speak tomorrow.” Without waiting for an answer, she turns and goes into her bedchamber. I hesitate before leaving for my own rooms. I would like to check on the Catalyst before I retire, but... perhaps my mother is right. He needs to rest, and I trust that Dalaunaa will see that he does not starve before morning. He needs to know that although he is a prisoner, he will not be mistreated.</p><p>And I... I need to think about why I cannot stop thinking about him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>At least for now, all of the chapters will be from Varyyn's POV.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>I sleep poorly that night, troubled by incomprehensible dreams. I try to hold onto the images each time I awake but they all slip away. All that remains are glimpses of memories that do not seem to be my own and, even more disturbing, shadows of many conflicting futures.</p><p>Long before the sun touches the horizon I have given up on the possibility of rest. I want to talk about my dreams with someone, with anyone, but I do not know who to approach. I suppose Uqzhaal would be the most likely to understand but, after some thought, I discard the idea. He is already occupied with the prophecies he knows; I do not think it would be helpful to throw any more at him.</p><p>After meeting with my mother – who seems as poorly rested as I am – and speaking briefly with Uqzhaal, I decide to walk to the beach to clear my head. I am pleased to see that Paravet and Mauri are already there in our usual spot. Mauri is sitting on a boulder with a jug of fruit juice and three cups; he waves one sticky hand at me as I walk over. He is picking away at a kooma, plucking the juicy segments from the rind. He hands one to me and nods at a cup, already full. “We were hoping to see you this morning.”</p><p>I sit down beside him and pop the kooma into my mouth. “I am glad you are here. I could use some sun and air after yesterday.” Near the water, Paravet gives me a friendly wave but keeps looking at the sand beneath her. “She is still looking for shells? I was sure she would have enough by now.”</p><p>Mauri smiles fondly. “She wants the necklace to be perfect for her sister. After all, it's her first broken heart – Paravet hopes that a pretty gift will help distract her.” He glances at me. “Did you sleep at all?”</p><p>“Not much, and not well.”</p><p>“It shows.”</p><p>“That is not a kind thing to say.” Paravet slips a few shells into the pouch at her waist as she approaches. She picks up a twig as she sits beside us and begins idly peeling away its bark. “Do you think you could leave me a little kooma once in a while?”</p><p>Mauri sucks the last bit of fruit off the rind before tossing it aside. “Why should I? You can get your own.” He turns to me and lifts his cup to wave it vaguely in the direction of our favorite waterfall. “Paravet and I were going to relax this evening. Why don't you come with us? It's been a while since we've all spent some time together, and it might help you sleep tonight.”</p><p>“I would like to....”</p><p>“And that means you are not coming,” Paravet chides me.</p><p>“I'm afraid not. There are so many problems right now. Seraxa wants to examine every room of the Hydra's keep now that it is empty. Dalaunaa is going to be her second in command, but I will still need to take part in that. Uqzhaal also spoke to me early this morning – he is desperate to find out which Catalyst we have and he wants me to tell him everything I know.” I am troubled at the depth of the shaman's fervor. I understand that his long life has been devoted to the Endless and the ancient prophecies, and it is nothing short of a miracle to him that his faith has seemingly been confirmed. All the same, his hunger for any scrap of knowledge strikes me as being nearly as dangerous as Seraxa's thirst for the Catalyst's blood.</p><p>“Is it true that he scratched a huge chart on his floor to help him narrow it down?” Paravet uses her stick to mime drawing a circle, then dividing it into sections. “The symbol of each Catalyst, descriptions of the strangers, trying to match them up?”</p><p>“I have not personally seen a chart.”</p><p>“But you believe he has one.”</p><p>I sigh and nod. “I would be surprised if there is only one chart. He is... dedicated to his faith.”</p><p>“You mean obsessed,” Mauri says.</p><p>“I said dedicated. And as if all of that is not enough, I need to learn a new language in as short a time as possible.”</p><p>“Poor Varyyn.” Mauri shakes his head with elaborate sympathy.</p><p>“Poor Mauri, and poor all of us. My mother says that as many Vaanti as possible should learn the Catalyst's language. If we encounter any of the strangers again, that will give is an advantage.”</p><p>“That seems like a lot of work,” Paravet says.</p><p>“That seems like too much work.”</p><p>I look at Mauri. “Maybe, but it is a good idea.” He opens his mouth to argue but I keep speaking. “Imagine that the next time you are out gathering kooma for Paravet – because you definitely owe her some -”</p><p>“<em>Thank</em><span> you, Varyyn.”</span></p><p>“You are welcome. Suppose you are out there with a basket of fruit and a Catalyst comes out of the trees. Will you just hand him or her the basket and say 'wait here, I know someone who speaks your language?'”</p><p>“I probably would,” he says agreeably.</p><p>Paravet grins at him. “Do you really think you could charm one of them?”</p><p>“I would certainly try! Charm is much easier than fighting, and it is much less likely to leave bruises.”</p><p>I feel my smile slip away and I look down into my cup. “At any rate, I will be too busy for waterfalls tonight. That does not mean you two should not enjoy yourselves.”</p><p>“It would be more fun with you there, though,” Paravet says as she stands. She looks at Mauri. “It is our day for patrol – I do not think it is a good idea to be late.” As she walks past me, she bends down and kisses my cheek. “Come with us tonight if you can, and think of us if you cannot.”</p><p>“I will.” I smile at her.</p><p>Mauri stands as well and kisses my other cheek. “Try not to take all the burdens on your own shoulders,” he says in tone of rare seriousness. “You are not the elyyshar yet.”</p><p>“And I hope I will not be for many, many years,” I murmur as I return his kiss.</p><p>I watch them go back toward Elyys'tel. When they have vanished into the trees, I turn to stare over the ocean. Breathing deeply, I try to use the muted roar of the waves and the light wind against my skin to put my thoughts in order. I feel lost and confused, but I know I do not have the luxury of taking too much time to calm myself. Most of the Vaanti are aware of a vague threat from the Hydra and the other outsiders clinging to our coastline, but they have no understanding of the extent of the danger. They worry more about the volcano looming above us and belching out foul smoke occasionally. I envy that they can live their lives in peace.</p><p>But how can I fault them for that? Even those like my mother and Seraxa, those who know far more of our situation than anyone, cannot fathom the Hydra's reach. That is why they ordered the mission to seize the Catalysts. They agreed that bringing them to us was the best way to remove them from the Hydra's reach and to find the answers we need. When the first attempt on the beach failed, they decided that an assault to seize all of the Catalysts at once was our only remaining option. I had private doubts about the wisdom of their plan... but I have private doubts about many things. I cannot use that as an excuse to fail in my duty.</p><p>My duty.</p><p>When I met with my mother this morning, she spoke firmly of the necessity of learning the Catalyst's language as quickly as possible. She had already consulted with Seraxa, who was furious that I had changed his cell without her permission. She threatened to take him out into the middle of the bay and throw him off the boat to feed the klaawyi. Mother said that she had smoothed things over – at least as far as anything could ever be smoothed over with Seraxa – by saying that the captive would be less forthcoming if we made his confinement too harsh. I was relieved at first, but then Mother told me I am now personally responsible for guarding him. I am to ensure that he does not escape and, while she did not say so directly, to also be watchful of those among the Vaanti who feel that his presence in Elyys'tel is too great a danger. Finally, I am to report directly to her if I learn even the slightest hint of the Hydra's intentions.</p><p>I understand her reasoning, of course, and I agree with it. Her duty is to protect the Vaanti and my duty is to serve her. It is to our benefit to keep the Catalyst alive and to learn as much as we can. I cannot explain it, even to myself, but something beside a need to defend my people is calling me to protect him. I spent the night trying to puzzle my way through the dilemma but each time I felt near an answer, it slipped away.</p><p>I take a final deep breath and stand to make my way back to the Great Tree. I try to tell myself that my reluctance to begin my duties is because of their importance – the safety of my home depends on whatever we can learn, after all. But I do not think that is all. I cannot deny that I do not want to face the Catalyst, and that is what makes me take a slightly longer path through the city than I usually would. I am... afraid. I do not know how he will feel now that the reality of his situation has been made clear. He is, after all, our prisoner, and he surely has no reason to want to aid us. Even if I learn to speak with him, I do not know if it will possible to convince him that we – that I – merely acted in the best interests of our home.</p><p>There is no reason why I should feel guilt and shame. I am a warrior of the Vaanti and I acted on the orders of my elyyshar and my war chief. I did what I was told and my mind should be clear.</p><p>It is not.</p><p>Perhaps, just perhaps, I would be less troubled if we had captured one of the others, one who was more aggressive, more of a match for us. We watched them for several days from our hidden vantages in the jungle – even managing to sneak a few scouts into the stronghold itself on two occasions – and we had identified which among them were quarrelsome, which ones argued for no clear reason. Our captive was not among them; he was one of those who would hang at the edges of the group and watch with a guarded face. I am not sure if that makes him more or less dangerous than the others – after all, if he habitually hides his feelings, how would we know if he were plotting against us?</p><p>As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I dismiss it. I do not think that is in his nature. Several days ago we were observing them as they played in the sun. I saw our captive walk away from the group to crouch by a clump of bushes. I watched the ground where he was kneeling and I saw what had caught his attention; a young turtle had somehow turned itself over and it was waving its small legs desperately in the air. He gently picked it up and righted it, then plucked a leaf and held it in front of the turtle. As the turtle nibbled at its meal, the Catalyst smiled and spoke softly to it. One of his friends called to him and he stood quickly and rejoined the others, as if embarrassed to have been caught in an act of kindness. I cannot entirely follow the reasoning of my own mind, but somehow I am sure that his is a peaceful nature. That does not mean that he will not defend himself, however – the slight ache at the back of my head is proof of that – and it does not mean that having him among us is without danger.</p><p>I finally reach the Great Tree and I head for the cells. They are little used; the most common occupant is Gurgi, who occasionally has to spend a night or two in confinement before he decides to make amends to whoever he has most recently cheated. He is not here today and I hope he will decide to trade honestly for at least a little while. I have enough problems already.</p><p>Dalaunaa is among those standing guard, and she steps forward as I approach. “It's been a quiet night. He's kept well away from the door whenever we have entered.” She lowers her voice as she adds, “War Chief Seraxa came a while ago. She glared at him for a few minutes and then left. She is not pleased – be careful around her.”</p><p>“That is always good advice.” I raise my voice to a normal level. “Has he been fed?”</p><p>“Supper last night, although he just picked at it. I do not know if he has eaten the breakfast we brought him.”</p><p>“He probably thinks he's too good for it,” one of the other guards mutters. He stiffens his back when I look at him.</p><p>“If he is hungry, he will eat,” I reply, deliberately keeping my voice calm. I turn back to Dalaunaa. “The elyyshar wants me to learn his language, so I will be spending a great deal of time here. Will you make sure the other guards know?”</p><p>She nods as she unlocks the door. “I will pass the word. Call me when you are ready to leave.”</p><p>“Or when he attacks you.” I do not need to turn around to know the other guard is smirking.</p><p>I owe Dalaunaa a debt, I think as I enter the cell. She placed the Catalyst in the largest one, the one with a few small windows set high up. Unless he is very skilled at climbing walls he will not be able to look out, but at least he will have fresh air and light.</p><p>Hoping that my face does not reveal my apprehension, I look at the prisoner. He is seated on the narrow bed, cross-legged with his back pressed against the wall. I am sure that I am imagining it when he seems to relax on seeing that I am alone.</p><p>We stare at each other for a few moments. His short dark hair is a little damp, so I assume he has figured out how the water tap in the corner works. His bruises have darkened overnight on his strange tawny skin, and there is a bad scrape on his leg from where he fell in the jungle yesterday. His blood is red like ours, and oddly enough, that reassures me. We are not entirely different. The wound looks like he has washed it; it should be bandaged as well but I know that if I reach for him, he will be frightened. I must bring him some ointment for it before evening.</p><p>I open my mouth, and then close it. How am I supposed to begin? I look at the plate next to him. “That is kooma,” I say softly. “It is a little tart, but very good. You should try it.” He opens his mouth, then closes it. He frowns a little, chewing at his lip.</p><p>Sighing, I lean against the wall. There is a chair in the room but it is near the bed and I still want to give him a little distance. “This is going to be difficult. I have no idea how to learn another language, you know. And there seems little point in asking if you know how to start.” I rub the back of my head. “There is no one here I can ask for advice.”</p><p>After a few heartbeats, he speaks hesitantly. He gestures at my head. “Well, I suppose that is a beginning, but I do not know how helpful it is.” Then he points at the chair and shrugs. His expression is apologetic and in a flash, I understand what he is trying to convey. I do not know how I am as certain as I am, but I am sure of his meaning. I smile at him. “My head is fine. I should not have underestimated you.”</p><p>He smiles back at me. It only lasts for a moment and his eyes are still achingly sad, but it is enough to help uncoil some of the tension in me. Very slowly and carefully, I sit on the foot of the bed. He tenses a little but does not pull away. I examine his face closely, looking for any sign that my movement frightens him. He seems wary, but that is all.</p><p>Perhaps that is enough to start with.</p><p>“My name is Varyyn,” I say, because I must begin somewhere. I point at myself. “Varyyn.” I raise my eyebrows, hoping that he will understand.</p><p>He looks at me, then lets his head fall back against the wall. He closes his eyes, shakes his head and speaks.</p><p>Frowning in concentration, I try to form my lips around the sounds he made. “...Metarzan. Is that your name? Metarzanu?” That is not quite right....</p><p>His eyes fly open. He gapes at me, opening and closing his mouth. Then, incredibly, he laughs. It is a little hysterical, to be honest, and I suspect there might be a sob mixed in. But it is definitely laughter. He takes a deep breath and looks at me. He speaks again, a completely different sequence of sounds. He points at his chest and repeats himself.</p><p>“Deee Agu.” I look at him hopefully and he says it again. “Diego...?”</p><p>He nods. “Diego.” After a moment, he meets my eyes. “Varyyn.”</p><p>His pronunciation is not quite right but it is clear that he understands. For a moment, I can only smile. “Yes. Varyyn.”</p><p>He lifts a hand and gives me a small wave. “Hello, Varyyn.”</p><p>My smile widens and I return the wave. “Haalta, Diego.”</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>...because you know Diego would have to make a "me Tarzan, you Jane" joke.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Three</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>3.</p><p>In the gleaming entrance chamber of the Hydra's fortress, I stand among a band of Vaanti warriors. Seraxa glares around at the high shining walls. “You have your assignments. Spread out and continue searching.” Without another word, she turns and disappears through a door to the side. She is sure that such an imposing stronghold must have an equally imposing armory but neither she nor anyone else has found a sign of it yet. She is also – as are we all – searching for any sign of our missing warriors. So far we have found nothing; they seem to have vanished as totally as the Catalysts.</p><p>Several of us head for the upper levels where the sleeping chambers are located. There are many of them but our surveillance before the battle showed which rooms belonged to the Catalysts. We searched those rooms immediately, although we did not know what we hoped or feared we would find. Now we must search every room.</p><p>It is beyond our comprehension. Our scouts have watched the stronghold since its construction, and it is usually full of the Hydra's people. They all disappeared immediately before the arrival of the Catalysts. What we do not know is why or how. They appear to have departed all at once, with no time to prepare; there are clothes left behind, jewelry and personal items whose purpose we can only guess at. If these items were important enough to bring with them, why were they abandoned? What caused the occupants to leave with such haste?</p><p>I go to the level where I know Diego's room is but I do not start there. The first chambers I look at seem to have been unoccupied, but then I go into a room that has clearly been used. There are clothes scattered around, on the floor and on the bed and hanging out of a long, low cabinet against the wall. They seem to belong to more than one person – some are larger and are obviously meant for someone much taller than the other occupant.</p><p>In a corner, I find something – a small object about the size of my hand. It very thin, no thicker than the finest leather, and it holds an image on one side. It depicts a group of beings similar to the Catalysts, but not them. It shows an old man and an old woman, both with dark skin and white hair. There are... there are children in front of them, also with dark skin but their hair is not white. They all have their arms around each other. Their faces show great joy and love.</p><p>This image – similar to a drawing but much more detailed than anything I have ever seen – is unsettling. It is easier to treat these strangers as enemies when we think of them as being entirely unlike the Vaanti. But here... these people are grandparents with their grandchildren, I would swear to it. It is clear that they love each other dearly and as I look on the image, I am lost in memories of my own grandfather. I was young when he died but I remember him so well: his laughter, his kindness, how tall and invincible I felt when he hoisted me in the air. </p><p>Carefully, I put the image back where I found it. There are no clothes here belonging to children and that comforts me. Enemies or not, I hope that these grandparents have somehow found safety.</p><p>I continue looking around the room and my eyes land on something familiar that might be useful. We have found many such items all through the building. Many of them are simply collections of words printed in long rows, dark letters against light sheets of an unknown substance that remind me of the parchment scrolls that Uqzhaal guards so carefully. Others have colorful images mixed in, similar to the one I found in the corner. Several days ago Anzhaal said that hidden in a workroom on a lower level, he had found a large group of these items that were nothing but images of males and females engaged in sexual activity. They puzzled him, he said; the acts themselves seemed clear enough but he did not understand why none of the participants seemed to be enjoying themselves.</p><p>This item – I must ask Diego what it is called – is not like that. It is filled primarily with words but it  also has images of strange people and stranger cities, of animals and plants. I notice that there is a corner folded down on one of the sheets. It takes me a few moments to make sense of the picture I see. It is a green mass in a blue field, with writing on and around it. Some sections of the mass are different shades of green or brown. There is a circle drawn near the bottom and an arrow pointing at it. Near the top of the green mass, off to the left, there is a much smaller dot of green that is oddly familiar. The curve of the bottom part looks almost like....</p><p>...Almost like Sharktooth Island.</p><p>With a chill, I realize what I am looking at. This is an image of our island as it must look from high above. A brown spot is exactly where the volcano would be located. And this circle at the bottom must be where I stand now... yes. On the next sheet is an image of the stronghold, along with the face of the Hydra. We have found many variations of his face all over the building. Just as in those others, he is shown with a kind smile and eyes full of menace.</p><p>Next I find a sheet that is almost entirely blue, scattered with green dots. It takes me a moment but I find my island again. It is so small... how can my entire world take up so little space? It gets worse. The next sheet shows these same green dots, now impossibly small and surrounded by large colored masses. </p><p>I take a deep breath. This is something that Seraxa must see, and Seraxa alone. I do not want any of the others to know of this before we have a greater understanding of what it means. I place it in the pouch at my waist as I leave the room.</p><p>Finally, I go into the room that was Diego's. I wanted to examine it the first day but I did not dare. Seraxa still has not reconciled herself to sparing his life and she is not pleased that I am learning his language. I do not want to give her any reason to think... well, I am not sure what I am trying to keep from her. All the same, it will not improve her opinion if I show too much interest. On the day of our first search she forbade us to bring back anything that belonged to the Catalysts, fearing that any item of theirs might contain a hidden weapon. She spoke to all the assembled warriors but I was the one she looked at.</p><p>I survey the room. As with the other chambers, things have been carelessly tossed around. There are clothes spread out on the floor. I would like to bring some of them back for Diego but Seraxa would never allow it. There is a comb on the floor and I bend to pick it up; after a moment's thought, I place it  on a table.</p><p>On the table there are a few items. I do not understand most of them – the thin flat thing with a shiny black surface, or the long thin cord that is inserted into the wall. But I know a necklace when I see one. It is a fine silver chain with a small disk on it, no larger than my thumbnail. There are tiny words carved around the edge, and it shows a large male with a staff. He holds a small child on his shoulder, and both man and child have circles around their heads. I turn it over; there are more words carved on the back.</p><p>I hesitate, holding the necklace in the palm of my hand. I do not dare openly defy Seraxa's order but surely this small thing... it cannot possibly be a danger. </p><p>My decision made, I slip the necklace into my waist pouch. Even if I can bring him nothing else, it might comfort Diego to have some tiny thing of his own. A small gift for him, a small rebellion for me.</p><p>My head jerks up as I hear a commotion outside. I rush from the room and try to identify the location – it seems to be coming from a lower level. Anzhaal bursts out of a nearby room. Without a word we both run for the stairs.</p><p>Two levels below we meet up with some of the others. “What is it?” Anzhaal demands.</p><p>Kelaun points. “Down the hall – I am sure I heard something. Perhaps the Catalysts have returned.”</p><p>“The stairs –?”</p><p>He shakes his head. “No, it was coming from the other direction. I was standing here when I heard it. I am sure no one has gone down that way.” We spread out to search that floor, and then the ones below and above. When we regroup, no one has seen a sign of any intruder. </p><p>“Perhaps it was a small animal?” Anzhaal asks.</p><p>“Perhaps.” Kelaun does not look convinced. I know how badly he wants evidence of our lost friends. His lover is among the missing. They had planned on being handfasted.... “Oh, Varyyn – here.” He hands something to me. “I found it in one of the rooms. It should not be difficult to repair.”</p><p>It is my necklace, the one broken by Diego's friend when I crashed through her window. The blue crystal at its center is still gray and dead. “Thank you.” I place it in my pouch. “Come, it is nearly time to go back to Elyys'tel.”</p><p>We meet up with the rest of our group in front of the stronghold. I catch Seraxa's eye and nod toward the far side of the fountain. Her eyes narrow but she meets me there, away from the others. “Well? Have you found something?”</p><p>“I have, but I do not fully understand it.” I give her the object I found, and I do my best to explain what I think it means. She frowns, but not at me. She stares at the image and I can tell that she agrees. This is our home, and this is its place in the world.</p><p>She looks up at me. “Tell no one of this.” She does not wait for me to acknowledge the order as she slips the item into the bag on her shoulder. She looks more shaken than I have ever seen her. “If the world is truly so large, then... then we have many, many more enemies than we can imagine. Did you find anything else?”</p><p>“A necklace,” I reply immediately, because I have been conditioned by years of following her orders without question. Trying to remain calm, I add, “It is mine. It was broken during the battle but I should be able to repair it. Would you like to see?” I reach for my pouch, but Seraxa turns away.</p><p>“If it is yours, it does not matter. Come.” Turning, she leads the way back to Elyys'tel.</p><p> </p><p>It is late in the day when we arrive back home. We are all tired so Seraxa dismisses us. Gratefully, the assembled warriors head in different directions. My chambers are in the Great Tree, so I find myself falling into step with my war chief.</p><p>“Seraxaaaaa!” Taari runs at her headlong. Without breaking her stride, she scoops the boy up and balances him on one hip. “Did you find anything? I went diving and I swam all the way to the bottom and I found a huge shell!” </p><p>She gives him a warm smile that is shown to precious few among the Vaanti. “I am sure it is the most incredible shell. You can show me when I come home. Have you had your supper?” </p><p>Taari nods. “Yes. I like your cooking better, but I did not say so. That was polite, wasn't it?”</p><p>“Very. I am proud of you.” Stopping at the foot of the Great Tree, Seraxa sets her adopted son on his feet. “I must speak to the elyyshar but I will be home before your bedtime.” Taari opens his mouth but Seraxa keeps speaking. “Yes, you may play until I get home. Try not to break anything.” Taari beams at her and runs off. Seraxa watches him go, then turns to me. “I will report to the elyyshar now. Remain close in case we have any questions for you.” She does not wait for my reply. </p><p>I swallow a sigh and go into the Great Tree. I have not slept a full night since the battle. My days have been divided between searching the Hydra's fortress and learning Diego's language. My nights, rather than allowing me an opportunity to rest, have been disturbed by troubling dreams. I would like to go to my bed but it seems that must wait a while yet. Perhaps I have enough time to see Diego and give him his necklace.</p><p>On a landing near the cells, I am stopped by Uqzhaal. He shifts from foot to foot, barely able to contain his excitement. “Ah, Varyyn. I have wonderful news about our guest.”</p><p>“Diego? What of him?”</p><p>“Not Diego!” Uqzhaal stutters a little over the strange name. “Canis. He is Canis, I am sure of it!”</p><p>“How can you be certain?”</p><p>“I was at the top of the Great Tree all last night studying the constellations and meditating. I have just spoken to him and all the signs, all the portents – there can be no doubt!”</p><p>That makes me pause. “You have spoken to Diego?” I have spent several hours a day with him and even so, we have barely progressed past the most basic words. How could Uqzhaal be able to speak with him?</p><p>“Well...” Uqzhaal waves a hand as if swatting away a bothersome insect. “Perhaps there was not a... great deal of understanding between us. That does not change the fact that the movements of the constellations – you saw the shooting stars a few nights ago, yes? – at any rate, I am sure....”</p><p>I nod dutifully as the shaman speaks and I try to look as if I understand. I received the usual childhood lessons but I am ashamed to admit that my mind always wandered when Uqzhaal went into the finer points of the different Catalysts. The teachings of the Endless held my attention – the need for kindness, for understanding, for mercy – but the possibility that the foretold ones might actually appear never mattered to me.</p><p>Perhaps I should have listened better to all of my lessons.</p><p>With a start I realize that Uqzhaal has finished speaking and is eagerly awaiting my reply. I fall back on a vague platitude. “I am sure if any among us can know the answer, it would be you.” The old man smiles broadly, so I must have said the right thing. </p><p>“Yes, yes. Perhaps I will go to the top of the mountain tomorrow,” he murmurs as he slowly makes his way down the stairs. “It is a long walk, but it will give me a clearer view of the heavens for the next few nights....”</p><p>Shaking my head, I continue on my way. Perhaps it will help calm him if he leaves Elyys'tel for a few days. I cannot explain why, but I am troubled by his behavior toward Diego. I understand how thrilling it must be to finally face a living, breathing manifestation of his faith but all the same, his fervor disturbs me.</p><p>I reach the door of Diego's cell and the guard unlocks the door for me. I think too late that I should have called out or given him some warning – what if he was asleep? I am relieved to see that he is sitting in the chair. He stands and seems glad to see me – still, I feel a pang of guilt. He has nothing to do in this bare room. It does not matter that Seraxa has demanded it, and it does not matter that my mother has justified it. I do not like it.</p><p>He nods at the door. “That was... Uq...?” He raises his eyebrows in a silent question.</p><p>“Uqzhaal.” I say the shaman's name carefully and clearly, and Diego nods.</p><p>“He's a lot.”</p><p>I try to focus my mind. It is difficult to wrap my thoughts around this new language. “He is a lot... of what?” I sit down on the foot of his bed and lean back against the wall.</p><p>Diego gestures expansively. “Of everything.” He frowns a little as he looks at me. “You're tired.” I shake my head; this is a word I do not know. His frown deepens as he tries to explain. “You are... you want to sleep?” He indicates the bed, mimes lying down. “That's what tired means.”</p><p>“Tired,” I repeat. “Yes. I have walked today.”</p><p>“A long way, or a short way?” He sits again and leans forward a bit. He scratches at the dark stubble on his cheek.</p><p>I nod and smile at him. Diego is very good at building on the few words I have learned, and showing me the differences between them. “Yes. A long way. We... looked?” I do not know how to express my meaning. “Too many words.” Diego laughs. That is the phrase he taught me when I first got confused in my lessons. “We went to – no, through. Through trees.” I stop myself. I do not know how to say that we were searching the Hydra's fortress. I am also suddenly reluctant to tell him that I have been in his room, seen his belongings. He has lost his friends and now lives as a captive. Would he be unhappy to know that I was rummaging in the fragments of his lost life? How could he be anything else?</p><p>When I do not go on, Diego sighs and sits back. “Tell me about one thing that you saw.”</p><p>Relieved at the chance to change the subject, I say, “I saw a... a turtle. It was – small?” I hold my hands together to indicate something I could hold between them. </p><p>Diego nods encouragingly. “Tell me about... um, tell me about its eyes.”</p><p> I must be choosing the right words. Tilting my head back against the wall, I go on. “Two eyes. They were small eyes.” </p><p>He gives me a quick smile. “Try another word.”</p><p>I close my own eyes and search for a word I already know. “They were black eyes. Two eyes?” Diego snorts softly. I go on. “The turtle was... was green. It was on the ground....”</p><p>Yes, the turtle was on the ground, waving its legs in the air. It was helpless, waiting for someone to save it but unable to ask for assistance. Diego reached for it... and then I am pulling Diego to me. He is looking back into a glowing, crackling pool of light, desperately trying to hold onto the hands of his friend. She is staring at him, at me, and her eyes are full of helpless grief and rage. I can feel her thoughts, her pain and her despair – </p><p>A hand shakes my shoulder and my eyes fly open. Diego looks at me; there is no fear in his eyes but he nods urgently at the door. I am on my feet, feigning alertness, when it opens. I take a quick glance at the windows high above; the little daylight that was left is gone. I must have been asleep for some time.</p><p>The guard enters the room. “Varyyn, the elyyshar and Seraxa are calling for you.”</p><p>“I am coming.” He steps back out, and I turn back to Diego. “I am sorry. I... sleeped?”</p><p>“Slept.”</p><p>“I slept.” I look at the door. “I must go.”</p><p>Diego nods and smiles with resignation. “Go. I'll be here.”</p><p>I hate the sound of the door closing behind me, of the key turning in the lock. I hate all of it, I think as I ascend to the throne room. Diego is kept locked up, seeing no one but me and the guards who bring his meals... well, and Uqzhaal, but I suspect his company is not entirely welcome. We are treating him as kindly as possible but I cannot imagine the pain of his situation. He has yet to complain – but how could he? There is no one here who would understand his words, no one he could ask for help.</p><p>Too late, I remember that I did not give him his necklace. It is too late today. Perhaps I will do it tomorrow.</p><p>I compose my face as I enter the throne room. Seraxa and my mother stand together, examining the object that I found. My mother looks up. “Varyyn. You have seen this?” I nod. “Have you told anyone about it?”</p><p>“I have not.” </p><p>“Good. You must not mention it to anyone.” My mother steps back and begins pacing, her face grim. “This... is worse than I had feared. We have always known that there were other beings who live in the outside world, but that there are so many of them... it is hard to comprehend.”</p><p>Seraxa nods. “Who knows how many warriors the Hydra has at his disposal? Now that we have seen the size of the world....”</p><p>I take a chance and interrupt. “The world is much larger than we imagined. That does not mean the Hydra controls all of it. If we have enemies in the world beyond, we might also find allies.” </p><p>After a moment, my mother nods. She comes back to stand beside us. “That is true. But that does not change the fact that there is so much we do not understand. How are we to know the difference between allies and enemies?” She looks at me. “Tell me, my son. How much have you learned of the Catalyst's language?”</p><p>“I have made some progress, but not enough to understand this.” I indicate the object before us. </p><p>“Is there any way you could learn more quickly?” I raise my eyebrows and she laughs ruefully. “I am sorry. It is simply that I do not know how much time we have. We must wait for you to learn, then, and  teach others of our people.”</p><p>All at once, a thought occurs to me. It is risky, but... perhaps. Trying to control my excitement, I say, “There might be an easier way. I am learning as quickly as I can. It would be much faster if Diego could teach more than one person at a time.”</p><p>Seraxa laughs bitterly. “And how many people do you think could fit into his cell at one time?”</p><p>I take a deep breath. “We could let him out of his cell.” My voice sounds calm and reasonable in my own ears. I hope I am not deceiving myself.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Ignoring Seraxa's outburst, I keep my eyes on my mother's impassive face. “He would remain under guard, of course, and he must not leave the boundaries of Elyys'tel. I think the more Vaanti who learn directly from him, the quicker it will be to teach his language to all of our people – or at least to those who are likely to have contact with outsiders.”</p><p>Reluctantly, my mother nods. “Perhaps....”</p><p>“You cannot be serious, my elyyshar!” Seraxa glares at me. “You were there when his companions killed our warriors. Do you forgive this so easily?”</p><p>“I do not believe they are dead!”</p><p>My mother looks at me closely. “Explain yourself, Varyyn.”</p><p>I give myself a moment to gather my thoughts. “The Catalysts used a device that we do not understand. They pointed it at our warriors, who disappeared. When it seemed that they could not escape us, they turned the device on themselves.”</p><p>“Because they knew death was preferable to what we would do to them!” Seraxa grinds out.</p><p>I keep my eyes locked to my mother's. “They fought too hard to defend themselves and one another. When their group was separated, they fought desperately until they were reunited. I cannot believe that they were seeking death.” I hesitate, then speak the truth. “I... was joined to their leader's mind at that last moment. When we seized Diego, I sensed her emotions as she felt them. She was grieving and angry. She was trying to take Diego to a place of safety. She did not want his death, or her own. Wherever the Catalysts are, I believe our warriors are in the same place.”</p><p>“Playing toss-stone up in the clouds, are they?” Seraxa laughs bitterly.</p><p>“Enough, Seraxa.” My mother holds my eyes for a long moment, then nods. “I... hope you are right, my son.” She turns and seats herself on her throne. “We will do as you suggest. Seraxa, you will allow Varyyn to take the Catalyst out among our people. We must learn his language as quickly as possible.” She quells the war chief's protest with a single look. “He will be guarded at all times. If he tries to escape even once, he will be brought back to his cell. If he tries twice, he will be killed.” She turns her gaze on me. “Is this clear?”</p><p>I nod. “It is, my elyyshar.”</p><p>“Good.” She stares at the floor. “When you believe you have a fair command of his language, you will bring him to me so I can question him.”</p><p>“Once we speak his language, will we still need him?”</p><p>My mother looks at Seraxa and then at me. “I will decide when the time is right. Varyyn, you may leave.”</p><p>Bowing, I leave the throne room. When I am alone, I lean against the wall and try to slow my heart. I have won a bit of freedom for Diego but it comes at a cost. I must watch over him carefully and if he tries to escape, I must protect him from himself.</p><p>Steadying myself, I turn back to the cells. My hand falls to my pouch; I think I will keep the necklace for a while. I have a better present to give Diego now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fun fact: early Byzantine icons portraying St. Christopher show him with a human body and the head of a dog. Sound familiar?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Four</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>4.</p><p>I walk out of the ocean to rejoin Paravet and Mauri. “The waves are not very good today,” I say as I come near them.</p><p>“Perhaps tomorrow they will be better,” Paravet says as she looks over the basket of kooma that Mauri gave her this morning. “You are improving. There are only a few unripe ones here.”</p><p>“I am relieved that you approve,” Mauri says with a grin.</p><p>As I bend down to pick up my clothes, I see Diego watching me. He is sitting a short distance away, surrounded by a group of children. He quickly looks away when he sees that I have noticed him. I frown a bit; his skin seems flushed. Has he been in the sun too long? If he does not rejoin us soon, I will have to check on him. T'kal saunters out of the undergrowth and walks up to me. He butts me with his massive head and then flops down several feet away and begins methodically cleaning his paws; he must have just brought down a kill. He will probably sleep the rest of the day.</p><p>After I am dressed, I sit down with my friends and I nod toward the children. “I am surprised that Seraxa allows Taari to be near Diego.”</p><p>Paravet shrugs. “It would be difficult to keep him away. All the children talk about Diego's stories and Taari would not want to miss them. Since Seraxa fears nothing except the boy's tears, he is here with his friends.”</p><p>“Seraxa defends herself by saying it is the quickest way for the children to learn Diego's language,” Mauri says around a mouthful of fruit, and Paravet reaches over to wipe a bit of juice from his chin.</p><p>We sit and watch the ocean and talk of trivial things until we hear the children begin shrieking. I look over; they are playing a wild chasing game and Diego is walking toward us. When he is near, he stretches. “I told them that I needed a break. I'm running out of stories,” he says with a laugh.</p><p>“I cannot believe that.” Paravet smiles up at him. “I have yet to hear you repeat one.”</p><p>“Keep listening, and you will.” T'kal lifts his head for a moment, then huffs and resumes his nap. Diego eyes the big cat warily but without the fear he initially showed. He runs his hands through his black hair. It is growing long, and I startle myself when I wonder if it is as soft as it looks. “Hmm?” He looks around, and I see a little girl trudging toward us. She is pouting and rubbing at her eyes.</p><p>“What is it, Linaa?” I ask.</p><p>“They... they say I am too small to play with them.” The little girl's face is screwed up in profound distress. She speaks in an odd jumble of our own and Diego's languages.</p><p>Diego crouches so he can look Linaa directly in her eyes. “That's a big problem.” She nods miserably. “Do you think a hug would help?” She thinks for a moment and then wraps her arms around his neck. He stands and begins gently swaying back and forth, murmuring indistinct words of comfort in her ear.</p><p>The guard standing on the rocks near the coastline takes a step closer. Diego does not see but the rest of us do. I feel a wave of anger rising in me but before I can act, Paravet puts a hand on my shoulder. She makes a sharp, decisive gesture and after a long moment, the guard stands down. </p><p>I frown a little to myself. Our trip to the beach is stretching the limits of what my mother has allowed. There are several warriors who follow Diego wherever he goes, all of them chosen by Seraxa. I have spotted two of the guards already but I know that there are others posted in the jungle behind us. How they can still believe Diego is a threat after all these weeks, I do not understand.</p><p>I look up at Linaa's soft giggle. She is smiling now, and Diego is singing to her. I try to concentrate on the song but it makes no sense to me. </p><p>Apparently I am not alone in my confusion. Mauri looks from Paravet to me. “I... do not know a single one of those words. I have not learned as many as you, Varyyn, but surely –”</p><p>“Oh! Sorry.” Diego stops playing with Linaa for a moment. “That was another language. It's just a song that my abuelo used to sing to me.” The little girl resumes her sniffling so he obligingly begins swaying with her again. </p><p>His patience visibly fraying, Mauri says, “And that is another word I do not know.”</p><p>Diego grins. “Abuelo means grandfather. The song is about a burro... oh.” He thinks for a moment. “Okay. That's an animal. He has a headache so a... a healer brings him a hat. That doesn't work so then he gets a scarf for his neck. It kind of goes on like that for a while.”</p><p>“How is a hat supposed to help the animal's headache?” I ask.</p><p>“It doesn't. I never understood that either.”</p><p>Mauri shakes his head. “If we are confused, perhaps you should not teach the children more than one language at a time.”</p><p>“You're probably right. Maybe I'll stick with the itsy bitsy spider.” He looks at Linaa. “Would you like that better?” She giggles and begins squirming. “All right, go on. Ask them to choose a game you can play with them.” He puts her on the ground and she runs to play with the other children. </p><p>Paravet looks at him. “Why did you not insist she use only your language?”</p><p>“Because she didn't need a lesson, she needed a hug.” Seating himself on the sand beside us, Diego leans back on his hands.</p><p>Mauri looks at him in something like awe. “How – how many languages do you know?”</p><p>Diego shrugs. “Only two. Well... I guess three, now that I'm learning Vaanti.” He takes advantage of Mauri's distraction to grab a kooma from the basket. “Oh, and I took French lessons when I was in school. I wasn't much good at it, though,” he adds comfortingly as he begins peeling the fruit. </p><p>Paravet begins peeling a kooma as well. “And what is... itsy bitsy?”</p><p>“That means something small. But it's not....” Diego thinks for a moment. “It's not a serious word. It means something cute and little. Kind of like teeny weeny.” Paravet opens her mouth but Diego continues without looking at her. “And if you call me either one of those, you're going to get a kooma in the face.”</p><p>“I would like to see that,” Mauri says absently. “Grandfather... grandmother. Mother, father. What is the brother of your mother?”</p><p>“An uncle.”</p><p>“And the sister of your mother?”</p><p>“An aunt. You would call them Uncle whatever, or Aunt whatever.”</p><p>Paravet nods. “What about the brother of your father?”</p><p>“He'd be an uncle too.”</p><p>I repeat the words in my mind, trying to memorize them. “Do you have brothers and sisters?”</p><p>Diego shakes his head. “No, my parents only had me. They both had brothers and sisters, though, so I had lots of cousins – the child of an aunt or uncle is a cousin,” he adds before anyone can ask.</p><p>Mauri nods. “You have a large family. Do you miss them?”</p><p>Diego's expression slips, but just for a moment. It is still enough to make me wince. “I've missed them for a while.” He shrugs and seems to force himself back to cheerfulness. “My father had a big family. It was really fun when all the Sotos got together.”</p><p>Mauri sighs. “Again. What is a soto?”</p><p>“I'm not doing it on purpose, I promise! Soto is just my family name.” When he sees that we do not understand, he goes on. “Um. You don't have those, do you? Well, a family name is just... it's how we know who's in the same family. My father is a Soto, and my mother is an Ortiz.”</p><p>Paravet thinks about this for a few moments. “So a child always has the name of the father.”</p><p>“Sometimes, but not always. Sometimes it's the mother's name and sometimes it's both.” </p><p>I share a bemused look with Mauri. “Forgive me, Diego, but... is there anything that your people cannot make complicated?”</p><p>He laughs. “I haven't even told you about middle names yet.”</p><p>Mauri falls back on the sand and closes his eyes. “Keep talking if you wish. I am finished. I have learned all I wish to learn.”</p><p>I ignore him and keep my attention on Diego. “What is a middle name?”</p><p>“Sometimes it's chosen just because the parents like it, but in my family it's usually for a relative. My mother had an Uncle Ricky she really loved, so my full name is Diego Ricardo Ortiz Soto.”</p><p>I repeat the whole thing in my mind. When he sees my concentration, he repeats the name more slowly. When I feel that I have memorized it, I nod. “Do you want us to use all of that? After all, if that is your true name....”</p><p>“The whole thing is usually for formal situations.” Diego glances at Mauri. “Formal means serious. I know you're still listening.” Mauri snorts. “My first name is good enough.”</p><p>“DIIIIEEGOOOO!”</p><p>“See?” He looks up as Taari and Homani run to us. Linaa follows, trying to keep up. “What is it now?”</p><p>“We want another story!” Taari and Homani each grab one of Diego's hands and begin tugging at him.</p><p>“Yes! Tell us the one about the red cloak girl!”</p><p>“No! I want to hear more about the man of bats!”</p><p>Diego lets the children pull him to his feet. “If you pull my arms off, no one is going to get a story.” He smiles when he says it. “Okay, okay. But Linaa gets to decide on the story.” The tiny girl smirks at the other children.</p><p>“When you have done that, why don't you swim with us?” I ask.</p><p>“Well....” Diego does not look in her direction, but he inclines his head toward the guard on the rocks. “Maybe not. I don't want them to think I'm trying to swim to freedom or anything.” I am not sure whether or not I am glad that he trusts us enough to let us see his bitterness, even if only for a moment.</p><p>When he is settled on the ground beneath a nearby clump on trees with a group of children pressed closely around him, I turn back to the sea.</p><p>Paravet waits a few moments before she says, “You are not going to swim, are you?” She has switched back to our own language.</p><p>“I am not.” Do I sound sulky to them? Perhaps.</p><p>“It is just as well. You have a face like a storm cloud. If you go in the water like that you will attract every unhappy spirit on the island.” Mauri's voice is far more gentle than his words.</p><p>“I... do not like the way Diego has to live.”</p><p>“At least he is living,” Paravet says.</p><p>“That is not a very comforting thing to say.” Even so, I know that she is correct. </p><p>“Varyyn....” She pauses and I can tell that she is choosing her words carefully. “I know that you feel responsible for bringing him to Elyys'tel. You must remember that you were acting as a warrior of the Vaanti and you were following the orders of our elyyshar. Following the orders of your mother. Do you think he blames you for his situation?”</p><p>I shrug. It does not matter whether or not Diego blames me. “I am not sure. It is a... difficult thing to think about.”</p><p>“So you have not even tried. It is not like you to shrink from difficult things.”</p><p>I try to glare at Mauri, but he is right and we all know it. “You must admit that this situation is... something I was not prepared for.”</p><p>Lowering her voice, Paravet asks, “You have told us of your connection with his friend, and that her last thoughts were of protection. Is... is it possible that you are still merely echoing her thoughts, and that is why you feel that you need to take care of Diego? After all, we have never known a mindtalker who was not a Vaanti.”</p><p>“We have never known anyone who is not a Vaanti.”</p><p>“My point, Mauri, is that there is a chance that Varyyn's feelings are not entirely his own.”</p><p>“No!” I think I am as surprised as my friends at the speed and violence of my response. Trying to calm myself, I say, “I know what I feel, Paravet. I do not understand it, but I know that my feelings are my own.”</p><p>“Huh.” Mauri looks at me for a long moment, then lays back in the sand again with a small private smile.</p><p>“And what do you mean by that?”</p><p>Without looking at me, he says, “I mean 'huh.' I am seldom the first person to notice anything, Varyyn. Let me enjoy this moment.”</p><p> </p><p>Later that day, we return to Elyys'tel and I find an excuse to leave Diego with Paravet. I know that she and Mauri will look after him until night falls and it is getting harder every day to see his cell door close. It is difficult for me to watch and I fear that I am turning into a coward.</p><p>Rather then going directly to my own quarters, I decide to visit my mother. I have not spoken with her for the past few days and I feel a need for her company. She and Seraxa have spent much time together, trying to decipher the pictures in the object we found in the Hydra's fortress – the book, I remind myself.</p><p>Diego has told us what the words in it mean and what he knows of the Hydra. It is regrettably little. He has done his best to describe the strange things the fortress holds but he is honest in his lack of understanding of its secrets. It seems that the Catalysts were nearly as confused as the Vaanti.</p><p>At least we now know the true name of the Hydra... Rourke. It is not much but it more than we had. It makes him less of a ghost and more of a being that we might understand; and if we can understand him, we can defeat him. What is more, Diego's willingness to share his knowledge, scanty though it might be, has done a great deal to alleviate my people's worry about him. Even if they do not understand him, many of them no longer see him as a threat. I am glad. It is safer for him.</p><p>“Mother?” I call out as I enter her chambers.</p><p>“I am out here, Varyyn. Come and sit with me.”</p><p>I join my mother on the private balcony outside her chambers. She is seated on a bench with one of her favorite dresses on her lap; she is repairing a small rip at the hem. She looks up at me in welcome but does not stand. “You look well, my son. I was hoping to share my supper with you this evening. I will even cook it myself if you like,” she teases.</p><p>“I will help, of course.” We smile at each other. She is held in great esteem by all our people, but no one has ever called her a good cook.</p><p>“If you insist, I will allow it.” She looks back down at her dress. “I spoke with Mauri's father today. He thinks that Mauri and Paravet will be handfasted this upcoming Niala'rei.” Her voice is casual but it does not fool me.</p><p>“If not this one, then the next,” I agree as I walk to the railing and look over our city. “They have both asked me to speak the vows for them, though each thinks they will surprise the other. I wonder who will propose first?”</p><p>Mother sighs. “And you are... not hurt?”</p><p>“No.” I smile over my shoulder at her. “It will end what the three of us have shared, but I have known for years that it would happen. They have not hidden that their feelings for each other have grown beyond what they feel for me.”</p><p>“I still wish....” My mother's voice trails off. I turn around just in time to see the wistful expression on her face. She composes herself quickly. “I would have been happy to stand at your handfasting with either one of them.” She laughs a little. “Or both. We simply would have had to use a longer ribbon.”</p><p>I return her smile as I sit beside her. It is an old joke, but one I am accustomed to. “I love them both, and I know they love me. But for a lifetime... no. They began to turn to each other years ago, and we all knew it. I have no regrets about the past or the present.”</p><p>“And what of the future? Who will you turn to, my son?” Mother sets down her sewing and looks up at the canopy of leaves above us. “It is... not always easy to be alone.”</p><p>I shrug as I stretch out my legs. “Maybe someone, maybe no one.” It does not answer her question and I can tell that she knows that as well as I. “Wishing for sunshine will not move the clouds, as grandfather used to say.” I hesitate, then ask, “Mother... are you ever sorry that you have lived your life alone?”</p><p>She begins to answer, then stops herself. Thoughtfully, she finally says, “Sometimes? Yes. If I had not lost your father to the sea, I would have lived my life with him. After he was gone, I could have chosen another, I suppose, but... there was never anyone for me but him.”</p><p>I take her hand. I have no memories of my father but I have been told that my face is the shadow of his, and he lives in the stories told to me. “I know. And I also know that whether or not I find a love like that, I cannot force it to happen. Now.” I pull her to her feet. “Let us see what we have for this supper you are threatening to cook for me.”</p><p>After we have eaten, I take my leave of her and go to my own rooms. I am tired but before I go to my bed, I pick up the small box I use to hold small items and small memories. At the very bottom, where I hope it will escape detection, is the necklace I found in Diego's room. I take it out and look at it, as I do every night.</p><p>For many mornings, I would take it out of this box and place it in my waist pouch with the intention of giving it to Diego that day... and yet, when evening came I would remember too late that it was still in my possession. I finally stopped bringing it with me, telling myself that surely I will know when the time had arrived to return it to him. I am still waiting to know.</p><p>Sighing, I put the necklace away and stretch out on my bed. I do not understand why I feel the need to keep it but I know that some day, I must return it to Diego.</p><p>Diego. Diego Ricardo Ortiz Soto. I whisper the name again and again. I breathe in and out in rhythm with the syllables. I repeat it in my mind like a wish, like a spell. Like a prayer.</p><p>My eyes drift shut but in the moment before sleep takes me, my breath stops and my heart races. I jerk upright and stare into the darkness as I realize what Mauri had meant earlier today when he said he had noticed something.</p><p>I love him.</p><p>I love Diego, and nothing in my life will ever be the same.</p><p> </p><p>“Mauri!” It has taken me some time to find him, and I am afraid that I have alarmed many people in my search. I finally remembered that it is his duty this night to patrol the paths of Elyys'tel and I find him near the edge of the city.</p><p>“Varyyn, what...? Oh.” He takes in my disheveled appearance and wild eyes. “I see that you have finally figured it out.” He jerks his head, inviting me to accompany him on his patrol. </p><p>I fall into step with him as I struggle for words. “How... I do not... Mauri, how could I have allowed this to happen?” It is an effort but I keep my voice low.</p><p>“I do not think this is the sort of thing you can allow or forbid. You can choose what you do about it, of course, but the feeling itself?” He shrugs. “That is impossible to control.”</p><p>“But... you say I can choose what I do about it. But what can I do?”</p><p>He gives me a sidelong glance. “It seems odd to be the one giving advice. I am not used to it.” He holds up a hand to silence my retort. “I am not mocking you, Varyyn.”</p><p>I try to calm myself. “I know you are not. But... I am afraid of what might happen next.”</p><p>“I will not pretend to know what you are going through.” Mauri is silent for many steps before he continues speaking. “You only have two choices right now. You can tell Diego how you feel, or you can remain silent for now. At the moment, I recommend silence.”</p><p>Miserably, I nod. He is correct. “It will be... difficult to stop seeing Diego.”</p><p>“That is the last thing you should do!” he says sharply.</p><p>“But – ”</p><p>“Listen to me, my friend. I have seen how our people have become accustomed to him, but there are still some among us who view him as a threat. What do you imagine will happen if you suddenly stop spending time with him? Do you think there is no one who will twist that, who will use it as proof that our prince no longer trusts the Catalyst?”</p><p>It pains me to even consider the possibility but I know Mauri speaks the truth. “You are saying that continuing as I have before is the only way to keep Diego safe.”</p><p>“Safe, yes. But there is more.” He hesitates. “I did not expect to like Diego, but I do. He is a good man with a kind heart and he is... lonely. He is frequently frightened. He is finding friends – and yes, even defenders – among the Vaanti, but you are the one he looks to. If you start to avoid him, he will be hurt.”</p><p>“That is not what I want! I do not want any harm to come to him – not from another, and definitely not from me.” We walk along for a while. “It will be hard to spend time with him, knowing he does not share my feelings.”</p><p>Mauri opens his mouth but says nothing. Finally, he shakes his head. “I am not used to this,” he murmurs, as if speaking to himself. More loudly, he continues. “No matter how he came to us, you have become his friend even if neither he nor you can say so openly. You do not need to stop being his friend. Let the future unfold as it will.”</p><p>“You... are right.” I manage a small smile. “You know how much I value your friendship, I hope.”</p><p>“Do not worry about that, Varyyn.” Mauri slings an arm around my shoulders. “That is the one thing in my life that I have never doubted,” he says as we walk together through our city.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Five</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 5</p><p> </p><p>Mauri wrings the last drops of seawater from his braid as we enter the meeting square near the Great Tree. “I am not looking forward to the next few days,” he grumbles. “I am glad we had time to swim this morning. I will be on duty constantly with so many warriors gone.”</p><p>“I thought you enjoyed having the guardroom to yourself.” Seraxa has gone to Rourke's fortress for the first time in several weeks. It seems that even she is beginning to doubt there is any new information to discover. After a long and occasionally heated debate, she convinced my mother to allow her to make a massive sweep of the stronghold and almost every warrior of Elyys'tel has gone with her.</p><p>“I enjoy the quiet, but not the extra work.”</p><p>Paravet smiles as we approach. She offered to watch over Diego this morning so Mauri and I could go to the beach and he is, as usual, sitting in the midst of a cluster of children. “You've almost got it,” he says. He taps Taari's arm and says, “Blue... and this is green.” He taps Homani's.  He grins as all the children repeat his words, examining their own skin.</p><p>“And what is this called?” Homani takes Diego's hand in her own, peering at it.</p><p>He seems surprised at the question. “Well, there's not really a single word – I mean, where I come from, we're a lot of different colors.” He seems a bit embarrassed by the chorus of impressed noises his statement provokes. “I guess... tan?”</p><p>Tan. It is a short word and it seems inadequate to describe Diego. I want to know his people's words for copper, for amber, for honey. I want –</p><p>I jump as Mauri digs an elbow into my side. He gives me an exasperated look. “Varyyn, control yourself,” he mutters to me. </p><p>“I did not say a word.”</p><p>“You did not need to.”</p><p>I swallow my retort. He is right, of course. Ever since I realized that my feelings for Diego were far deeper than were wise, I have been striving to behave as if nothing had changed. Mauri was well aware of my struggle from the start, of course, and Paravet was not far behind. I have never asked if Mauri told her or if she put the pieces together on her own. She simply walked up to me one day and rapped me on the back of my head. Before I could do more than yelp in protest, she wrapped me in a comforting hug and murmured that I was the greatest fool she had ever seen. I know that my best friends will keep whatever secrets I have but I cannot lie to myself. I have started to notice a few of my people watching me as I watch Diego, and I have started to notice the way they whisper to each other. I have started to fear that I am merely delaying something inevitable.</p><p>The three of us approach and seat ourselves near the children. Diego smiles at me. “Hey. How were the waves this morning?”</p><p>“Not as good as I had hoped. At this time of year, they are usually better elsewhere.”</p><p>“Aw, that's too bad.” He has been encouraging me to spend my mornings at the beach so I can go surfing. Sometimes he joins me there and other days, such as today, he remains in Elyys'tel. I suppose it is risky; after all, my mother made her wishes clear enough. It is my responsibility to ensure that Diego does not escape but he has been living with the Vaanti for several months with no incidents. Surely she must see that there can be no harm in relaxing our watch on him, at least for an hour or two. Mauri and Paravet have both been willing to guard Diego when I am not present. They all seem to have become friends but I suspect they hope that by separating us for even a few hours at a time, my feelings will fade. </p><p>Homani tugs at Diego's arm to recapture his attention. “I have a question,” she says with the utmost gravity.</p><p>He turns back to her. “I'd like to hear it.”</p><p>“How will we know when you are old?” Diego's expression changes, but the children do not seem to notice. My friends and I do, however, and Paravet looks away so she will not have to meet my eyes. I know we are sharing the same thoughts. Will Diego still be among us when he is old? Or will he have left us long before, either because he has rejoined his friends, or because... even in my mind, I cannot continue the thought.</p><p>“What... do you mean?” Diego asks cautiously.</p><p>“Because your hair is already so dark. How will we know when the brown strands appear?”</p><p>“Brown strands...? Oh.” Diego relaxes a little. “It's a little different for my people. Our hair doesn't turn brown when we get old. It turns gray or white.”</p><p>“It will become white?” Homani's eyes widen and she stands up. She puts a hand on either side of Diego's head and turns him until he is facing her. “You will be so pretty.”</p><p>“Um. Thank you?” Diego blushes slightly.</p><p>Moving as one, Mauri and Paravet both kick me. I press my lips together. If they are trying to help my feelings remain undiscovered, this will not help.</p><p>“Well. Okay!” Diego claps his hands together. “I... think that's enough for now. Why don't you all go and do... whatever it is you do all day.” He waves the children away. They disperse with only a little grumbling. When they are all gone, Diego looks at the rest of us. “I have a lot more sympathy for my teachers now. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”</p><p>“You are a very good teacher,” Paravet tells him. “They are learning English well, and they then teach their parents. Your language is even spreading to the outlying villages.”</p><p>“Really? I... guess that's a good thing.” Before I can do more than wonder at the sudden uncertainty in his voice, he turns to me. “I'm sorry that the surfing wasn't any good. You said it was better somewhere else?”</p><p>I nod. “Yes, there are several coves to the east. The waves are usually excellent there, but I cannot go so far away right now.”</p><p>“Well, why can't you?” Diego looks at Paravet and Mauri. “I'm sure you could get away for a day or so. We can probably cover for you.”</p><p>“Do you mean we should do something to conceal Varyyn? What will we cover him with?” Paravet asks in confusion. “I do not understand how he can surf if he is hiding beneath something.”</p><p>“No, no – that just means that we can... distract anyone who comes looking for Varyyn. It shouldn't be too hard, right?” He looks at all of us, then turns his attention back to me alone. “How long would it take you to get there?”</p><p>I think it over. “Not long. Only a few hours if I make haste,” I answer slowly, trying not to sound eager. “The waves will be at their best early in the day, and then again in the evening. I suppose it might be possible. I can take T'kal with me – he likes the hunting in the jungle nearby.”</p><p>“Okay.” Diego nods decisively. “Let's say that you leave really early, before the sun comes up. Can you get there before evening? Or if you leave at night, could you be there in the morning?”</p><p>“If I go quickly, yes.”</p><p>“Varyyn, stop and think about this. You cannot go quickly if you carry your surfboard,” Mauri says.</p><p>Perhaps too hastily, I reply, “There are several villages around the cove. Surely someone there will loan me a board for a short while.”</p><p>“See?” Diego grins at me. “You have been thinking about it.”</p><p>“I do not like this plan,” Paravet says. “It is true, Seraxa left this morning and she will be gone for several days. However, she is not the only person who might ask for you. What if the elyyshar wants to know where you are?”</p><p>“You could tell her that... I went into the jungle to think about my language studies?”</p><p>Diego closes his eyes, almost as if he is in pain. “You are so bad at being sneaky.”</p><p>“I have never needed to be sneaky!”</p><p>“Okay, okay.” Diego shrugs. “We'll try to think of an actually good explanation while you're gone. Now we just need to figure out the best time for you to leave....”</p><p> </p><p>It is after dark the next day when I return to Elyys'tel. I give T'kal an affectionate thump against his flank as he leaves me to head toward his den. There is little moonlight to guide me but I navigate the familiar path leading to my home with no difficulty. I intend to speak to Mauri and Paravet before I check on Diego, but I am met by Dalaunaa as I enter the city.</p><p>“Varyyn!” I frown at the urgency in her voice. “We have been looking for you. Where were you?” I freeze, trying to remember the story my friends and I had agreed on before my departure. She does not wait for whatever answer I might make. “You must report to the elyyshar as soon as possible.”</p><p>“What has happened? Are we under attack?” Surely that cannot be; the city is far too peaceful for something so dire to have occurred.</p><p>Dalaunaa shakes her head. “I do not believe so. All I know is that Seraxa sent a messenger from the Hydra's fortress this morning, and the elyyshar has been calling for you.”</p><p>A cold hand surrounds my heart. Of course. Our plan was too simple, and all of us assumed nothing extraordinary would happen in the span of a single day. Trying to remain calm, I say, “I will go to her. First, however, I must look in on Diego and see how the language lessons went today.” </p><p>Before I can do more than turn in the direction of the Great Tree, I am stopped by a hand on my arm. “There... were no lessons. Mauri went to fetch him earlier but he was not permitted to open the Catalyst's cell. He is to remain there until...” Dalaunaa trails off awkwardly. “I do not know for how long he is to remain in his cell. He has seen no one but Uqzhaal today.”</p><p>“I... see.” I concentrate on keeping my face still. In Seraxa's absence, there is only one person who would – or could – order Diego's return to confinement.</p><p>My mother.</p><p>Hoping that my voice remains calm, I say, “This was at the order of the elyyshar?”</p><p>“It was,” Dalaunaa answers. She looks away. “We could not seem to locate you. Since the elyyshar's initial order was that you are responsible for guarding the Catalyst, she said that Diego must return to his cell until you spoke with her. It would be... a good idea to speak with her as soon as you can.” </p><p>“Thank you. I will do that.” I continue on the path to the Great Tree but once there, rather than going to the throne room, I turn and head toward the cells.</p><p>“Varyyn, you cannot – he is to have no visitors!”</p><p>I barely glance at the warrior at the doorway as I grab the key to Diego's cell from its hook. “I am not his visitor. I am his guard.” I unlock the door and toss the key toward him. “Lock me in with the Catalyst if you feel it is necessary.” I do not wait for his answer.</p><p>“Oh. Hi.” Diego is sitting on his bed with his back pressed against the wall. “So... how were the waves?”</p><p>“Diego, what – are you all right? Have you been hurt?”</p><p>“No, no.” He waves a hand at me. “Everything's fine. I'm fine. I had to talk to Uqzhaal for a while but I'm just fine here. How are you?”</p><p>“You are... not fine.” I look at him closely. His body is tight with tension and while his words are casual, his voice is shaking a little. He is staring at the windows far above us. “Diego, what happened today?” </p><p>“Oh, nothing much. I... think they noticed you were gone. Anyway! Like I said, I was talking to Uqzhaal and it looks like he finally convinced your mother that he should take me out to look for those idol things. I guess it'll be nice to get out of here for a while, go for a long walk. Look for some things that I don't even know what they look like, and that's assuming that they even exist –”</p><p>I sit down next to him. “Diego, I am sorry. I never meant for this happen.”</p><p>His words keep pouring out as if I had said nothing. “Could be worse, right? At least I didn't have to deal with Seraxa glaring at me. I mean, she's never made it a secret that she'll toss me in the volcano if she feels like it.”</p><p>“She will not!” Diego still will not look at me. “Diego, she will not harm you. My mother would never allow it.”</p><p>“Unless she thought she had to, right?” Diego closes his eyes. “Varyyn, I... I get it. She doesn't have any reason to pick me over her own people. If she – if you guys really decide that I'm a threat, then that's it.”</p><p>I speak sharply. “No one will harm you. Diego, please... I am sorry that you were punished for my absence. But my people will not use that as a reason to hurt you. Seraxa will not, and my mother will not. Please... do not be angry with me.”</p><p>“Angry?” Finally, he looks over at me. “God, I'm not angry at you! But...Varyyn, can I tell you something?”</p><p>“Anything,” I say at once.</p><p>He hesitates. “I know you said she won't hurt me, and I... I know you believe that, but I'm never not going to be afraid of Seraxa.”</p><p>“There is nothing strange about that. I am afraid of her and I have known her all my life.” That startles a laugh out of him and I smile. “Even my mother is wary of her. I think the only creatures in Elyys'tel who do not fear her are Taari and her cats.”</p><p>“She has cats?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, many cats. Old ones, young ones. All of them have become fat and lazy under her care. When she thinks no one is nearby, she speaks to them as if they are children. Sometimes she sings to them and...” I lower my voice. “Do not repeat this, but I have heard her pretend to speak in their voices.”</p><p>“That's....” He laughs again. “I kind of wish you hadn't told me that. It's going to be really hard to act like I'm not thinking about cats the next time I see her.” Some of the tension leaves his body and I find myself relaxing as well. I am glad that my words had the effect that I intended. More seriously, Diego goes on. “I'm afraid of Seraxa... but I think I'm more afraid of Uqzhaal.”</p><p>“Uqzhaal? But... but he honors all the Catalysts! Your presence among us is proof of his faith.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, I'm crystallized destiny. I know.” I look over at him. He is frowning and chewing at his lower lip. As much as I want to ask what disturbs him, I understand that he needs time to choose his words. “He – he doesn't honor me. He doesn't like me, he doesn't even really see me. I'm just an idea to him, a way to prove that everyone who doubted him is wrong. He wants me to help find those... those idols. What if I can't do that? How long is he going to make me look for them?”</p><p>“Diego, it will be all right. I have been telling you that I would never allow anyone to harm you – ”</p><p>He keeps speaking and once again, I do not know if he hears me. “I mean, Seraxa wants me dead because she thinks I'm a threat to all of you. I can understand that – I don't agree with it, but I understand it. I... I don't know what Uqzhaal expects of me. What if I find these idols and they aren't what he thinks they are, and they don't work the way he wants them to? Or what if they work perfectly? He won't need me for anything once he has them. It's the same as me teaching all of you English. If most of you speak it already, you're not going to need to keep me –” His voice is growing louder and his words are tumbling out, almost too fast for me to follow. </p><p>I put my hand on his shoulder and he falls silent. I can feel him trembling. “Diego. Diego. Just... breathe.”</p><p>After a long moment, he takes a deep shuddering breath. He lifts his hands to cover his eyes and I take my hand away. “Varyyn, the only thing Seraxa wants is to keep all of you safe. If the Vaanti are okay, she'll leave me alone. All Uqzhaal wants is to be right and that's what makes him dangerous. It – it won't really matter to him if I end up getting hurt because of him. He might feel bad about it but that won't help me any. People can do horrible things for their faith.”</p><p>As much as I want to tell him he is wrong, I cannot. “I know. Long ago, my people fought wars over the idols, and over the Endless. We divided into... fictions?”</p><p>“Factions,” he replies automatically.</p><p>“Yes. There were many deaths, entire villages and cities destroyed... all in the name of being right.”</p><p>He lowers his hands and looks at me. “Who won?”</p><p>“No one. The city of Elyys'tel won, I suppose, but there were too many dead here and elsewhere to call it a victory.”</p><p>“Same old story, huh?” </p><p>“Yes.” We sit in silence for some time. We are close enough to touch but we do not. “Diego, I am sorry. I did not realize that you were living with such fear.”</p><p>He shrugs. “Usually I'm okay. I guess I've gotten used to all this, as weird as that sounds. I'm all right for days at a time but sometimes I'm...not, especially at night. It all comes back up then, you know?”</p><p>I did not. I should have known – and in my deepest mind I could not have been unaware – but I have allowed myself to be blind to the reality of his situation. “I... have not liked to think of our first encounter. I believed in what we were doing and that our attempt to bring the Catalysts to Elyys'tel somehow meant the salvation of my people. But after the battle, when you were...” I swallow hard. I must be honest, with him and with myself. “When I captured you. I saw the fear that you felt. I did not intend for you to be afraid, but there is no way you could have been anything else.”</p><p>He nods slowly. “I was scared, yeah, of all of you. Sometimes... sometimes I still am.”</p><p>I take a deep breath. It is difficult to hear, but it cannot have been easy to say. “I understand. And I am... sorry that my people cause you such fear, now and in the beginning.” I force myself to say the rest of it. “And I am sorry for my part in it.”</p><p>“I know.” His voice is soft. He sighs. “We both got caught up in all of this. I didn't want it, my friends didn't want it. I don't think the Vaanti wanted it either, at least not the way it turned out. But there really isn't any way to go back and do it different, is there?”</p><p>“There is not.” We sit together in silence for a long while. It is oddly comfortable. As hard as this conversation has been, I think having it is a relief for both of us. Finally I say, “Diego, may I ask you a question?” He nods. “Stories are so important to you. Can you tell me why?”</p><p>He thinks for a few moments. “Because... stories tell us who we are. It's how we understand the world, how we figure out a way to be in the world.” He looks over at me. “Does that make sense?”</p><p>“I... think so.”</p><p>“We can change stories every time we tell them. And in a way, when we change the stories, we're sorta changing ourselves, deciding what's more or less important – to us, or to the people listening to the story. We can....” He laughs a little. “We can imagine there'll be a happy ending when we don't have any reason to expect one.”</p><p>“I see.” </p><p>Once again, we share a long silence but this time Diego is the one to break it. “You never told me how the surfing was.”</p><p>“It was good, very good.” I do not dare more than a glance at him. “It seemed very important to you that I go.”</p><p>He smiles but does not look at me. “Varyyn, do you have any idea how happy you look when you're surfing? You come alive when you're out there, or even when you just talk about it. I... wanted you to be happy, even if I wasn't there to see it.” His voice is barely more than a whisper when he finishes.</p><p>I take a deep breath and let it out again. We sit together under the weight of the words we cannot speak to each other. Finally, when I trust that my voice will be steady, I begin. “I arrived at the cove a little before the sun rose. The skies were clear and I watched the clouds changing color. There were sea birds circling above the ocean....”</p><p> </p><p> My mother is alone in the throne room, and I am glad. I do not think either one of us wants an audience for this conversation.</p><p>“Varyyn. You returned to Elyys'tel some time ago.” She remains seated and stares at a point over my shoulder.</p><p>“I did, my elyyshar.” Her eyes flicker at the formality of my response but that is her only reaction. “You wished to see me.”</p><p>“I sent for you hours ago. Where were you?”</p><p>Nothing will be gained if I hide the truth, or even if I attempt to approach it from an angle. “I was surfing.”</p><p>“You were... surfing?” She looks at me in shock. “With everything that we are facing, you leave Elyys'tel – you abandon your duty – to play in the water?” </p><p>“I have abandoned nothing,” I snap back. “I was away for several hours, no more. The Great Tree still stands and you are still on your throne. I do not see how I have harmed the city – or you, my elyyshar.”</p><p>“Regardless of what stands or does not, or where I sit, this will not happen again,” she says through stiff lips. I nod, just as stiffly. She takes several deep breaths and I know she is trying to control her anger. “I did not know where you were.”</p><p>“I was less than a day's journey away. I have often surfed there, Mother. I know the way well and T'kal was with me. I was in no danger.” I pause. She would be angry if she merely thought I was being irresponsible but she would not be furious. “Something happened today.”</p><p>“Yes. Come.” She stands and leaves the throne room to enter her own quarters. She does not wait to see if I follow.</p><p>By the time I enter her chambers, she is already out on her balcony and I join her there. She is staring out over the quiet city. “Seraxa sent a message from the Hydra's fortress.”</p><p>“Did she find something?”</p><p>“No. But... we have lost something.” She finally turns to me and for the first time, I see the fear and exhaustion beneath her anger. “Kelaun and Noro have vanished.”</p><p>“Vanished? How?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “We do not know. When they did not return to their meeting point, Seraxa went looking for them. She found fresh blood and Noro's knife. She found no other trace of them. That was all the messenger could tell me.”</p><p>I nod, trying to take it in. “I see. Seraxa and the warriors are coming back to Elyys'tel?”</p><p>“They are. They were to continue searching until night fell and then return. They should be back by morning. That is only a few hours away now.” Mother sits down wearily.</p><p>Rather than joining her, I lean against the railing. “You think they are dead.”</p><p>“I do. I do not know by whose hand.” She begins counting off on her fingers. “A wild beast? The Hydra? Have the Catalysts finally returned? Or is it an entirely new enemy?”</p><p>“Not the Catalysts,” I reply automatically and I see her anger rekindle. “I agree it is not... impossible, but I think it is unlikely. It does not fit with their previous behavior.” I do not say it, but I am sure that if they had returned, their first action would be to come for Diego.</p><p>“Well. Unlike you and Uqzhaal, I have no faith in the Catalysts right now.” Her hands are clenched together in her lap. “However, he has made his case that now is the time to begin searching in earnest for the lost idols. He will begin tomorrow.” Her voice does not allow the possibility of argument. “The Catalyst will go with him, bound and under guard at all times.” She gives me a steely glare. “The Catalyst will not escape. Is that clear?”</p><p>“The Catalyst has a name. I have never heard you use it.” </p><p>My mother keeps speaking. “I will not risk the safety of my people, and I will take no chances. Not even for you.”</p><p>“Do you really believe Diego's presence endangers the Vaanti? Do you believe he endangers me?”</p><p>After several long moments, she sighs. “I... do not believe he is dangerous. That does not mean that danger does not follow him. I will take the measures that I feel are necessary.” I open my mouth to argue but she cuts me off. “That is all you need to know. You may leave me now.”</p><p>“...As you command.” Without looking back, I leave. Rather than going to my chambers, and rather than going back to Diego, I go up. I climb the long stairs leading to the very top of the Great Tree. </p><p>Finally, I reach the highest platform. I sit there until the sun lightens the horizon. I can look one direction and see the ocean; another direction is the way to the fortress. All around me is the land my mother is sworn to protect.</p><p>And here, at the highest point of my city, I pray for a sign to guide me on my way.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Six</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 6</p><p>“Oh, wow. I bet this is a great view in the daytime.” Diego sits on the edge of the platform, dangling his feet over the edge. </p><p>“It is one of my favorite places.” I sit down an arm's length away. It has been difficult to find time alone with him so for the first time I have taken him to the top of the Great Tree. The sun has not yet risen and the city is quiet beneath us. There has been a simmering tension in Elyys'tel since the disappearance of Noro and Kelaun. Some of my people have allowed this to rekindle their suspicion of Diego and they seem glad that the meager freedoms he had been permitted have been reduced. But there are also those among us – and I want to believe that they outnumber the others – who scowl and grumble when they see Diego being led out of the city with his hands bound. He has friends here and I hope he knows this and is comforted.</p><p>My mother and I are still stiff and formal with each other. I believe her anger has faded in the weeks since our argument, as mine has, but neither of us seems to know how to put our emotions aside. We shall have to talk soon but I am not sure how to begin. When we are together our conversations are safe and shallow and I have yet to find a way into the deeper waters. I understand the reasons for her anger and I am certain that while she now sees the depth of my feelings for Diego, she cannot openly acknowledge them... and she certainly will never support them.</p><p>I look over at Diego. His face is turned up to the still-dark sky and the light breeze ruffles his hair. I know that his vision is reduced in the dim light of the waning moon, but I can see him well and I intend to take advantage of it. “How are your lessons going?”</p><p>“Do you really want me to break the first rule of fight club?”</p><p>“I am sorry. I did not know there were rules!”</p><p>His mouth quirks up. “I'm joking, Varyyn, As for how I'm doing, that depends on who you ask. Mauri says I'm hopeless. Paravet says I'm doing okay, but I think she's just being nice.”</p><p>“I doubt that. Mauri likes to tease and Paravet takes fighting very seriously. I would believe her.” I have been concerned with the unsettled mood in Elyys'tel and after much thought, I quietly asked Mauri and Paravet to teach Diego to defend himself. Mauri, naturally, asked why I did not do so myself... but I cannot bring myself to even pretend to harm Diego. The mere thought doing so was enough to turn my blood cold. I can trust only my best friends to do what I cannot.</p><p>“I managed to knock her over yesterday. Even so...” he shrugs. “Let's face it, I don't know how I'd do against a Vaanti in a real fight. I'm pretty sure Taari could take me out if he felt like it.”</p><p>“Taari likes you and he would never... take you out. As for anyone else, we must simply make sure you have a chair with you at all times, then.” </p><p>He laughs. “I apologized for that, remember?”</p><p>“And I accepted your apology. But if you find a method that works, there is nothing wrong with using it again.”</p><p>“I'll remember that.” His smile drops a little as he nods in the direction of the Hydra's fortress. “I don't suppose...?”</p><p>“No. My people have gone back to search several times – a week ago, in fact – but they did not find any sign of your friends.” I do not like to be so blunt, but neither do I want to give him false hope. </p><p>“Didn't think so.” He sighs and falls silent. After a while he says, almost to himself, “Maybe I really will have white hair the next time I see them. Do you think maybe they did come back from... wherever they went but they found a way to get off the island so they left when they had a chance? That would've been the smart thing to do.”</p><p>“No,” I say with certainty. “They would not leave without you, and they will come for you as soon as they are able.” Because that is what I would do, I think to myself. All the same, I dread their arrival. I do not want to see another battle between the Catalysts and the Vaanti. And although I know Diego would surely choose his own people over mine and I must accept that, I am not yet ready to say goodbye to him.</p><p>Diego lifts one shoulder in a small shrug. “I... dream about them sometimes. And... it's kinda... weird.”</p><p>“In what way? Do the dreams disturb you?”</p><p>He does not answer right away. Finally he says, “Sometimes. I can see all these details about them – things that I know are true. Like Craig is left-handed, and Quinn snores but no one wants to tell her, and Estela has a scar right here –” he gestures to his eye and glances at me. “Right where your tattoo is. But when I see Taylor in the dreams, or even when I try to think about her while I'm awake, it's like there's – there's a fog around her. I can't quite focus on her and I don't know what that means. She's my best friend, right?” He looks at me and I hate the mingled pain and fear in his eyes. “So why is it starting to feel like she's not really... real?”</p><p>I consider his question carefully. “Diego... I do not know how to answer this for you. All I know is that your friends will return for you, and I am sure that Taylor is real.” I smile. “After all, she left bruises on me during our fight. A ghost could not have done that.”</p><p>Diego nods, but still seems unconvinced. “Maybe.”</p><p>I wait a few moments. “Diego, you seem... sad. I cannot say that you do not have many reasons to be sad. Is there any way I can help?”</p><p>He seems ready to answer but then he hesitates.“It's just that – I've been trying to keep track of how long I've been here. I think I know what day it is but I'm not sure... anyway.” I can tell that he is embarrassed but I do not know why. “I know this doesn't mean anything to you but I'm pretty sure I missed Christmas.”</p><p>“I do not know this word.”</p><p>“It's....” He sighs heavily. “It's a holiday, but... it's kind of important. It was always a big deal in my family.” He looks over me. “It's a day for families – we get together and eat a big meal, and we exchange gifts, and everyone is... happy.” </p><p>“And you are unhappy here,” I say.</p><p>“Not always. I'm happy when I'm with you,” Diego answers me quickly; then, realizing what he said, he blushes. He goes on, “But I miss my family. I wonder if they miss me?”</p><p>How could they not miss him? But then I frown as I remember something he said months ago. “You told me once that you have missed your family for a long time. Can you tell me what you meant?” He opens his mouth, then stops himself. He seems on the verge of tears. As gently as I can, I ask, “Too many words?” He nods and closes his eyes.</p><p>I take a deep breath. Finally, the time has come. I reach into my waist pouch and take out the necklace I found in his chamber in the Hydra's stronghold, the one that shows a large man carrying a child. “Even... even if it is not the right day, there is never a bad day to give a present. Here.” </p><p>His eyes grow wide as he sees what I am holding. His hand shakes a little as he takes the necklace from me. “Saint Christopher,” he breathes.</p><p>I do not understand the words. I smile, though I know there is little happiness in my face. “Is that what it is called?”</p><p>Diego nods. “My grandmother gave it to me when I left for college. It's supposed to prevent accidents. They say if you carry this, you'll have a safe journey with no surprises.”</p><p>“Ah.” I look down at the necklace. “I am sorry it did not work. Perhaps it is broken?”</p><p>Diego laughs sadly as his finger traces the image. “It probably is.” He swallows hard. “Where did you find it?”</p><p>I cannot look at him as I gather the strength to tell the truth. There are already so many barriers between us; I do not want to add a lie, not even a small one. “After the battle, we searched the Hydra's fortress. We were looking for weapons, for the Hydra himself, for....” Sighing, I shake my head. “We did not know. We searched for anything that would tell us more of the dangers we faced. I... found your room. I wanted to bring you something – clothes, at least – but Seraxa forbade it. I saw this and I took it because it was small enough to escape notice. I wanted you to have at least some small thing from your home.”</p><p>“But then you kept it.” </p><p>“I did.” I make myself turn to Diego. He stares at the necklace, not at me. His long hair has fallen to cover his eyes but judging by the part of his face I can see, his expression is puzzled and guarded rather than angry. “I carried it with me for many days. Every morning I intended to give it to you but somehow, I always found it still in my possession when the day ended. I told myself that it was simply not the right moment, and I would know when the time had come. But... I know now that I kept it because I needed it. I feared that this might be the only part of you –” I swallow hard. “I wanted some small part of you that I could keep with me.”</p><p>Diego lets out a long breath. “And now you're giving it back to me.” There are tears in his voice, and in my eyes.</p><p>“I... do not have the right to keep it. I do not have the right to ask for any part of you. It does not matter how much I want to, I cannot ask that of you.” My voice breaks and I am not ashamed.</p><p>Diego's hand closes around the necklace. “But you want to,” he whispers. All I can do is nod. “Then... here.” He takes my hand and places the necklace in my palm, closing my fingers around it. “Keep it, okay?” </p><p>“...Okay.”After a moment, he withdraws his hand. He wraps his arms around his knees and stares into the leaves. I clench my fist and lean back against the railing, grateful for its solidity. To fill the silence, I say, “Perhaps when you... when you return to your home, your grandmother can give you another.”</p><p>“No. Abuelita died a year after she gave me that.” He shrugs and his face is full of remembered pain. “They didn't even tell me she was sick until after the funeral. Mom told me it was because they didn't want to interrupt my studies. Then she got mad when I didn't believe her. We... fought. It was pretty bad and she told me not to come home until I apologized. I haven't seen any of my family since then.” </p><p>My breath catches in my throat; I cannot find words, in his language or my own, to protest against such cruelty. All I can do is stammer, “But... why?”</p><p>He closes his eyes. “Because Mom never... liked the way that I am. Dad isn't happy either, but I don't think it really bothers him as much. I don't know why. All the same, he hasn't talked to me either.”</p><p>“The way that you – Diego, help me. I do not understand,” I plead.</p><p>He looks at me sadly. “I know. I'm glad you don't.” There is finality in his voice and I know he is not willing to discuss it further. I must respect his wishes but my heart breaks for him.</p><p>Diego has told me stories of his world and they fascinate me – I dream of being able to speak instantly to friends many miles away, to even see their faces. My people have seen the Hydra's strange sky ships, so much larger than our own gliders, and the devices he used to build his fortress. Diego has attempted to explain how they work and sometimes I believe that I am starting to understand. It has saddened me, the thought that I may never see Diego's world... but for this moment, at least, I am glad. No matter the wonders I might see, his world also breeds those like the Hydra. I am appalled by the possibility that parents would cast out their own children and I cannot understand how Diego accepts this.</p><p>I hear Diego stir beside me and I look over. His face is turned to the sky and he murmurs, “The sun's coming up.” He wipes a hand across his eyes and tries to smile. “Guess I'd better get down there, huh? Uqzhaal is going to be looking for me soon.”</p><p>“Yes, it is almost time.” While the shaman has said nothing to make me afraid for Diego, I can tell he is growing impatient. He was sure it would be a simple matter – and once again, he cited a prophecy from the childhood lessons I barely listened to – for Diego to locate the idols. They have been searching for weeks, however, and nothing has been found. I go with them as often as I can; I need Diego to know he is not alone.</p><p>Slipping the necklace back into my waist pouch, I stand and extend my hand to Diego; he accepts it instantly and he pulls himself to his feet. “Come. We have time for breakfast, and then I will summon T'kal so he can accompany us.” </p><p>Diego nods as we walk to the stairs. “Lucky cat. He gets to find a sunny spot and nap while I spend the day pretending that I know what I'm looking for. So where are we going today?”</p><p>“I am not sure. Uqzhaal said he wishes to search the temple again.”</p><p>“Again?” Diego snorts. “If the idol was there, I would've found it the first two times we searched there.”</p><p>“I agree, but....” I watch to make sure Diego is holding to the railing as we descend the stairs.</p><p>“But we're looking again.” Diego shrugs. “Third time lucky, right?”</p><p>“We must believe in luck, I suppose. Perhaps today we will be rewarded.”</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Seven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chapter 7</p><p>My grandfather died when I had barely left childhood. I remember his death, and I remember his life. He was a kind man and, I have been told, a good leader. There were many times when I would slip into the throne room while he was occupied with his advisors. He never allowed himself to stray from the matter at hand but without fail, he would wait for a lull in the conversation to catch my eye and give me a wink and a private smile. That was when I knew I could creep back out and wait by the door and when he was finished, no matter how late in the day, he would find me. He taught me to how to fish and how to surf. He showed me how to follow a trail through the jungle, and how to hear the words a person tried to leave unspoken.</p><p>I did not know he was dying, of course – how could a child understand such a thing? – but I knew he was becoming tired. I saw how his steps grew slower and his breath came harder, and one day when I asked him to lift me in the air, he smiled and tugged at my hair and made a joke about how quickly I was growing. We laughed together and I did not realize until later, until it was too late, that we were the only ones who laughed.</p><p>One morning I entered my mother's chambers. I do not remember why I was looking for her but she was not there. Instead, two of her closest friends were sitting on the floor and wiping away tears as they worked at knotting together an elyyshar's veil.</p><p>That was how I learned my grandfather had died in his sleep, in this very room.</p><p>And now my mother is dead, and now I am the elyyshar.</p><p>I sit alone in my mother's private quarters off the throne room; a few flickering lamps are my only companions. Mother's body has already been given to the sea, as my grandfather's had been. I wish I knew where my father's bones rest on the sea floor so I could have taken Mother as close to him as possible. I can only hope that their spirits find each other soon so they can join together for eternity.</p><p>Paravet and Mauri left me a little while ago. They both held me and they both wept with me after we returned from the funeral. Paravet had her bow with her; although they never said so, they are going in search of a rawxil. When they have brought it down, I know they plan to strip it of its feathers to make my crown.</p><p>My crown. I am not ready for a crown.</p><p>From all around me, I hear the sounds of Elyys'tel. I hear my people weeping for the wounded and the dead, but I also hear music and cheering as we... as they prepare to celebrate the coronation of a new elyyshar. </p><p>This is our way. But I am not ready for a crown. I never hoped to become elyyshar in a time of war but I never dreamed I would be responsible for leading my people through Raan'losti. Uqzhaal says – and now I have no choice but to believe him – that our greatest trial is upon us. At least it seems that we have the support of the Catalysts. </p><p>If only I understood what that meant....</p><p>I frown as I feel a slight itch at the back of my mind, gone as soon as I recognize it. It must be the mindtalker – or Taylor, I remind myself. I must remember to call her by her name. It is difficult to think of the Catalysts as individuals, rather than faceless figures from ancient legends. I have received only a jumbled, confused account of where the Catalysts have been for these past months and I doubt that I will ever fully understand how they simply stepped into a frozen pocket of time itself. But even if I might not understand them or their world, I have watched them, however briefly, as they squabble and show affection for each other. And I have fought with them as they helped the Vaanti defend our city at great risk to themselves.</p><p>Why should this come as such a surprise to me? After all, Diego has lived among us for many months and I have come to understand, and to love, so many things about him. He has shown great courage and kindness and cleverness, all qualities much prized by the Vaanti. I should have expected that those he calls his friends would be as complex and as worthy as he is.</p><p>Closing my eyes, I lean back against the wall. It is nearly morning and soon I must face my people as their elyyshar. I must appear confident and make them believe that I deserve to lead them... and I cannot even remember how many hours it has been since I last slept.</p><p>My eyes fly open as I hear someone enter but I sag back when I see that it is Diego. Very softly, he says, “I didn't know if you wanted to be alone, or...?” The only reply I can manage is a shake of my head, and my only hope is that he knows what I mean by it. After a few moments he seats himself near me. “I wasn't sure where you were but Taylor... um.” He looks over at me. “Is that... weird for you, being connected to Taylor?” He wiggles his fingers next to his head. “Because she says it's weird.”</p><p>I wonder if he knows how grateful I am to speak of something besides grief and responsibility. “Somewhat, yes. Mindtalkers are taught how to shield our minds from one another but she... is still learning how to do so. I imagine she will soon adjust. If she wishes, I can help her.” Rubbing my forehead, I say, “I... thought you would want to spend time with your friends.”</p><p>“I do,” he answers. “And I did, and I will. But right now....” he trails off.</p><p>“For right now, I thank you.”</p><p>Diego settles himself more comfortably beside me. “Raj found the kitchens and I think he's losing his mind. He's trying to get recipes out of everyone down there – of course, he doesn't recognize any of the ingredients so then he wants those explained to him too. He's annoying half of the cooks and charming the other half. Quinn is... resting, and Michelle is watching over her. Jake wanted to know where he could find a drink. Too bad Mauri isn't around because I think those two would hit it off. And... Dalaunaa said there's going to be a party tomorrow?” </p><p>“It is not quite a party. It is a... celebration.” My mouth twists but I make myself continue. “The coronation of an elyyshar calls for a feast, and for games – not only in Elyys'tel but in all the surrounding villages and the far cities, once the word reaches them.” I had not even thought of that. Elyys'tel is by far the largest of our cities but my people live all over the island. I must send messengers to alert them of the danger facing all of us....</p><p>“I don't know much about the other cities,” Diego murmurs. “Anyway, I guess that explains why everyone is cooking everywhere – like I said, Raj is losing his mind over all the food – and why there are still kids running around at this hour.” He grins at me. “Taari said he knows he's supposed to be in bed but he grabbed hold of Zahra and Craig – I think Craig's brother is about Taari's age – and he's showing them what are allegedly the best climbing trees in Elyys'tel. He even got Zahra to try them out with him and Craig.”</p><p>I have not spoken with Zahra – I believe she is the one with purple hair – but from the laughter in Diego's voice I can assume she is not known to climb trees. In spite of the dark thoughts within me, I smile. I have seen how Diego uses chatter to calm himself and it is somehow reassuring to discover that it has the same effect on me. “Seraxa will be angry to find that her son is not sleeping.” My smile slips away. It is so painful to think of mothers and sons....</p><p>A few moments pass before Diego asks, “Is there somewhere I can get some water?” I point at the door leading to the small cooking area, so seldom used. He gets to his feet without another word.  I press my head against the wall and rub my hands over my eyes. He must be exhausted. I woke him up early to take him to the top of the Great Tree – was that yesterday or the day before? – and then he was reunited with his friends, and then Sharktooth Island, and then... Cetus. And then my mother died in my arms.</p><p>I am startled when something is placed in my hand. Diego resumes his place at my side. “Drink that,” he says with gentle authority. I stare at the cup of water, and then I do as he tells me. When it is half empty, he takes it from me and replaces it with a damp cloth. “Now wash your face off.” He responds to my questioning look with a sad smile. “I know it won't help much. What you need is a good meal and a long nap – and let's be honest, that wouldn't help much either – but this is the best I can do right now.” Once again I obey him. And he is right. It does nothing to lessen my grief, but it is a comfort to know that he wants me to feel better in some small way.</p><p>Sighing, I look around the room. “I do not know where to begin.”</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I... am now the elyyshar. I will be expected to move into these chambers. But... how can I? All of my mother's belongings....” I shake my head. “When – when Grandfather died, she kept a few things that were precious to him and gave the rest away. I suppose that is what I must do.”</p><p>“Mmm.” Diego takes in our surroundings. “It's big. Bet it's nice during the day with all those windows.”</p><p>“It is.” I look around, imagining how it must appear to one who has never seen it. The outer wall is made of living branches, woven tightly together except for the large natural gaps. I nod toward the curtain covering the balcony's entrance. “Out there is where Grandfather used to sit and tell me stories. And mother likes... liked to sew out there.”</p><p>“What did she like to sew?”</p><p>“Oh, everything. All of these curtains are from her own hands, and she made most of her dresses... she said that it was the only thing that helped her relax. She made her own marriage dress, you know –” My voice cracks and Diego wraps my hand in his. I hold on to him tightly.</p><p>After a few minutes, he says, “I'm not going to tell you not to be sad, okay? You're always going to miss her. But... you loved her and she loved you, right?” I nod. “And that's what you have to hold onto. That doesn't change just because she's gone.”</p><p>When I can speak again, I say, “There were so many things we did not say to each other. If there had been just a little more time....”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>I close my eyes. After our fight, I wanted to speak to my mother but I did not. At first my anger stopped me, and then my pride, and then, finally, my uncertainty. Now I can only wonder if she felt the same. I will never know. All I know is the cost of words unsaid.</p><p>Diego presses the cup on me again. “Here, you need this.” He watches to make sure I drink. When the cup is empty, he takes it from me. “Everyone is working out there, cleaning everything up. They have some of the walkways repaired already. Lila is wandering around staring at everything and Sean is helping someone with one of the gliders. He says he really likes working with his hands but his coaches usually don't let him. Hard to catch a ball if you drive a nail through your thumb, I guess. And I saw Seraxa organizing anyone who could stand – it looks like there are a lot more people keeping watch than usual.” </p><p>“Yes, she asked my permission to double the guards.” I sigh. “Only hours ago, I was just one warrior among many and now she must report to me. I do not know if it felt more strange for me or for her. But now that we have met the Hydra, we can take no chances.”</p><p>“Rourke knows where you live. We brought him so close to Elyys'tel –”</p><p>“You are not responsible for that,” I reply sharply. “Nor are your friends responsible.” I will never forget the rage and terror that ripped through me when the Hydra held a blade to Diego's throat. He will pay for everything he has done, but most of all for that. “He is a deceiver and he preyed on your friends' desire to find you. I will not blame them for believing he truly meant to help them.”</p><p>He shakes his head and I can see he is still troubled. “But now the Vaanti are in danger.”</p><p>“We have always been in danger. We have prepared for this, and now we must face it.”</p><p>Diego is silent as he considers this. Then, haltingly, he asks, “Varyyn... is this something that you want to do?” At my questioning look, he hurries on. “I mean, it's not like you have much of a choice right now. But... if everything was calm and normal, would you want to be the elyyshar?”</p><p>I begin to answer, then stop myself. “This... is not something I have considered.” And truly, it is not. Slowly, I go on. “This is not about... wanting, or not wanting. I have always known I would one day lead my people. But... my grandfather was elyyshar for many years. He became a parent late in his life, as my mother did. They were both – mature?” I look at Diego to make sure I have the right word. “They were both mature when they came to the throne and had many years to watch and to learn. And I... I suppose I assumed I would have many years as well.” I swallow hard, and Diego squeezes my hand. “But I did not. I will not pretend that I am the only person who could lead the Vaanti, or the only one who should. There are others among us who I would trust to take my place if it became necessary. Even so....” I take a deep breath. “This is what I must do. I will not betray my mother and my grandfather and my people simply because I fear my path.”</p><p>“Varyyn, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you think about this.”</p><p>“This is the truth, even if I never thought about it.” To my surprise, I am able to smile at him. “Diego, you are very good at making me think about things I have not considered. Perhaps that is what I need. If I survive this trial, it is possible that I will consider what comes afterward.”</p><p>“Oh, don't worry. You're gonna survive,” he says fiercely.</p><p>“Is that a command?”</p><p>“Damn right it is.”</p><p>“Very well, then.” </p><p>We both look up as the door opens. Uqzhaal and Seraxa enter and the shaman says, “My elyyshar, we are making preparations for the coronation. Mauri and Paravet have returned with the rawxil – I have never seen one with such mighty wings, surely it is a great omen! – and your crown should be ready in an hour or so.” I look over at the windows; I did not realize how long Diego and I have been talking. The sun has risen and the first day of my reign has begun.</p><p>Uqzhaal looks at Diego and inclines his head. “I am sure that Canis would like to rejoin his friends. It is only fitting that the Catalysts stand together at this occasion.” </p><p>I bristle at the tone of command in his voice. “No, I would like Diego to stay with me.” I look over at him. “If... that is what you wish?” He gives me a tiny nod and at that moment, I realize that he is still holding my hand. I do not release him.</p><p>Blinking in surprise, Uqzhaal looks between the two of us. “But... that is not necessary. Surely our war chief agrees with me?”</p><p>Seraxa does not answer at first. She gives Diego a long, considering look and then says, “He fought alongside us, and he did so as bravely as any Vaanti. Diego has earned the right to choose where he stands.”</p><p>Uqzhaal frowns, then quickly smooths it from his face. “We have not yet asked what Canis would like to do.”</p><p>“Actually, the elyyshar did ask me.” Diego does not look up as he scratches at a spot on his knee. “Aaaand... I kinda think I'll just hang out here for a while.”</p><p>“...Very well.” His expression blank, Uqzhaal bows. “I will continue to see to the preparations. If you will excuse me?” He turns and leaves, leaning heavily on his staff. Seraxa follows him, but not before she gives me and Diego an approving nod.</p><p>When the door is once again closed, Diego grins at me. “Not gonna lie, I enjoyed that.”</p><p>“I will not lie either. I did as well.”</p><p>We laugh softly together. Almost to himself, Diego says, “Heh. I know it was mostly about needling Uqzhaal, but still. She called me brave.”</p><p>“That is because you were. All of Elyys'tel saw you on the glider with me.”</p><p>“Oh, did I look brave when we were up there? Because I was mainly trying not to wet myself.”</p><p>“Why do you think I put you in the lower seat?” He smacks my arm. “Be careful. Do not wound the elyyshar.” I look at the door and my smile fades. “There are people I must talk to. We will need to go out there soon.” I lift my hand to smooth my braid.</p><p>“Not like that you're not.” He gets to his knees and gestures. “Turn around.”</p><p>“Why?” But I do as he says.</p><p>“You heard me, turn around,” he repeats himself patiently as he undoes my braid. “You're not making your first official appearance full of tangles,” he mutters. “Not if I can help it.”</p><p>I close my eyes as his fingers deftly comb through my hair. “You are good at that.”</p><p>“Mmm. My cousin Lexi had really long hair and it always got messed up when she played. I learned how to fix it so she wouldn't get in trouble.”</p><p>“You have always taken care of people.”</p><p>I can almost hear him shrug. “Yeah. Well.” He does not say anything else and I do not expect him to. Instead, I smile to myself as I memorize the feeling of his hands in my hair and I know that whatever else the day will bring, this is the moment I will choose to remember best.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Eight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don't understand how you didn't tear every ligament in your back,” Michelle says as she gently prods the muscles of my shoulder. “You held up an entire gondola, for God's sake, not to mention three people.”</p>
<p>“For a few moments, yes.” Obligingly, I rotate my arm in the direction she indicates. </p>
<p>She rolls her eyes. “'For a few moments,' he says.” </p>
<p>“I admit that it was easier after Raj climbed out of it.”</p>
<p>“Can't argue with that, I suppose. And your back is only a little sore?” she asks in clear disbelief.</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, it is sore,” I answer. “But it is better than it was yesterday.”</p>
<p>Sighing, she sits back. “Vaanti physiology is really something else.”</p>
<p>“I suppose it is.” We rest together on the outskirts of the small trading village. We made our way here several days ago and while we have been hoping to be quickly reunited with the other Catalysts, there has been no sign of any of them. I will give the others one more day to recover and then we must consider how we are to search for our friends. I have already sent several scouts back to Elyys'tel with word of what happened and that rather than returning to their own world, the Catalysts are still among us. I hope that my message will not be proved a lie.</p>
<p>A short distance away, Diego and Raj are bargaining with Gurgi and, typically, I can tell that the trader is being difficult. He acts as if he knows far fewer of the Catalyst's words than he probably does. It is good that Diego is doing most of the talking; he speaks enough of our language that Gurgi cannot pretend he does not understand what they are asking for.</p>
<p>Michelle is doing her best to look anywhere but at the ocean. I do not ask why. The Catalysts told me of what has happened to the world beyond the horizon and that everything has, impossible as it seems, been consumed by fire. They tried to explain it to me during our frantic escape from the mountain stronghold but I did not fully understand until later that night. While Raj and Michelle slept fitfully, Diego curled in my arms and told me, between sobs, of what they had seen. I could do nothing but hold him as he wept. It was only a few days ago that he comforted me in my grief after the death of my mother. How much deeper is his pain, knowing that not only his entire family, but everyone he has ever known, has died?</p>
<p>“...They look like they're kind of a cross between an orange and a pomegranate. I could just squeeze their juice and make a reduction for that fish Varyyn caught.” I look up as Raj and Diego approach. The few villagers on the beach watch them curiously, but do not approach them. “And I'm pretty sure I saw some peppers growing near our camp. That'll add a kick to the sauce.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like you have dinner sorted out.” Michelle's face brightens just a little. </p>
<p>“Yep!” Raj beams at us proudly. “And Gurgi promised to send us some more food for breakfast tomorrow. Good thing we ran into someone so cool.”</p>
<p>“Oh, did Gurgi have someone helping him at his stall?”</p>
<p>“Um, no?” Raj cocks his head at me, clearly puzzled. “He was the only one there.” We should not count on breakfast, then – but I say nothing. They have enough to worry about already.</p>
<p>I hold out my hand to Diego and he accepts it as he sits down beside me. He smiles up at me and in spite of all that we are facing, I cannot suppress the wave of joy that I feel whenever he is near. I do not know what the future holds for us, nor does he, so I have promised myself that every moment we are together, he will know how much I love him.</p>
<p>Raj curiously sniffs the kooma he is holding, then glances at me. “I still think you shoulda kept your crown. It was sweet.”</p>
<p>I look uncertainly at Diego. He grins and says, “That means it looked good on you.”</p>
<p>“Ah. I appreciate that, Raj, but I did not wish to stand out. That is why I sent it back with the scouts. It will be waiting for me when we return to Elyys'tel.” </p>
<p>“Do you think the others headed back there and that's why we haven't met up with them?” Michelle asks. No one answers, and I am surely not the only one who notices the way her face falls at our silence.</p>
<p>Raj is the first to react. “We'll meet up with them in no time, wait and see. Why don't you come back with me and we'll get a start on supper? I'll even let you use your mad knife skills to cut up the fish.”</p>
<p>Michelle's nose wrinkles. “Ew, no thank you. I'll handle the fruit,” she says as she gets up. She looks back at me and Diego. “Are you two coming?”</p>
<p>“In a little while. I have something I wish to show Diego.”</p>
<p>“I bet you do.” Ignoring Diego's sputtering protest, she waves over her shoulder as she follows Raj back to our camp.</p>
<p>Weakly, Diego says, “Well, if she's feeling good enough to give us a hard time, I guess she's not a complete wreck. I suppose it's worth a little teasing to see her smile.”</p>
<p>“It is.” Leaning closer, I whisper, “And do not worry. We will find your friends.” He squeezes my hand but does not answer. “Come with me.” I stand and pull him to his feet. </p>
<p>“Where are we going?”</p>
<p>I point at one of the bluffs above us. “Up there. The view is remarkable.”</p>
<p>“You seem to know this area pretty well,” he says as we begin walking. </p>
<p>“Oh, yes. I have been here many times. It is one of my favorite places.”</p>
<p>He grins at me. “Let me guess. The surfing is good here?”</p>
<p>“I do not think 'good' is the right word. It is the best. On some days, the waves are nearly as tall as the cliffs above. It is... sweet.”</p>
<p>“No, no, no. Waves as high as cliffs? That sounds more scary than sweet.”</p>
<p>“Not if you know what you are doing. And I do,” I say.</p>
<p>“I'll take your word for it.”</p>
<p>We walk in silence for some time. Diego watches everything around us as if he is trying to memorize it all. I am glad to see that he is so relaxed in our surroundings; even if it is not his home, he seems comfortable here.</p>
<p>He stops in his tracks when we reach the top of the bluff. He stares around us, taking in the view. Finally he says, “I... see what you mean. This is... wow.”</p>
<p>“I am pleased you like it. Come, sit with me.” We lower ourselves to the ground, sitting side by side as we look over the ocean. </p>
<p>I put my arm around him and he gives me a sly glance. “So this is why you wanted to get me alone up here.”</p>
<p>“It is one of the reasons, yes. But we can look at the sunset at the same time.”</p>
<p>“The sunset....” I follow his gaze as he looks at the sea below us. The horizon is tinged with a color that I know now does not come from the setting sun. I look at Diego; he stares into the distance with pain in his eyes. I tighten my grasp and he leans a little harder into me. “Diego?”</p>
<p>“I didn't mean to kill the mood,” he says quietly.</p>
<p>“You did not.”</p>
<p>“It's just....” He shakes his head. “I can't get my head around it, you know? That's there nothing left out there but fire.”</p>
<p>“It is difficult for me to understand. Not so long ago, I knew nothing of your world. We knew the Hydra and his people came from elsewhere, of course, but we always believed his land was simply an island like ours. I still cannot believe that the world is so vast – and now it is gone.” </p>
<p>Diego rests his head on my shoulder. His voice soft, he says, “There were... a lot of things I wanted to show you.” I can think of nothing to take away the pain in his heart, but I suspect he is not looking for an answer.</p>
<p>All the same, I need to ask. “Is there a chance, even a small one, that everything could be put right and that the world could be restored?”</p>
<p>“Only if Rourke has the world's biggest fire extinguisher in one of his labs,”Diego says bitterly.</p>
<p>“Are you so sure that he does not?” Diego looks up at me, puzzled. Struggling to put my thoughts into words, I go on. “I have seen so many impossible things in such a short time. And as much as I love my home, I cannot accept that the Hydra would be content ruling over my land alone – not when there are so many other lands in the world beyond. Do you believe that he does not have some plan to reverse everything that has been done?”</p>
<p>“But then – why? If he can undo all of that –” Diego waves his hand at the horizon. “Then why even do it in the first place?”</p>
<p>“He is a madman. Even if we cannot fathom the workings of his mind, it is likely that he has a goal that we do not yet see.”</p>
<p>Diego is silent for a long time before he speaks again. “Even if he can put out the fires, what's gonna be left? A world full of burned-up buildings, a whole planet of – of burned-up skeletons.” He swallows hard. “Hell of a thing to rule over.”</p>
<p>“As I said, that is not a world he would be content to rule. That is why I think he has a way to somehow repair what has been done.”</p>
<p>Nodding slowly, Diego considers my words. “He brought me and my friends here for a reason so... we must be a part of whatever crazy scheme he's got. But what are we supposed to do about a planet full of volcanoes? It's not like there's anything that special about any of us.”</p>
<p>I press a kiss into his temple. “I would disagree.”</p>
<p>He laughs sadly. “Not really relevant to the discussion here. But thank you.” He sighs as he slips an arm about my waist. “Even if there's some way we can fix all of this, we're separated again. I'm glad Raj and Michelle are with us but I wish we knew where the others are. I don't even know if we all survived.”</p>
<p>“I have sensed Taylor – she is a great distance from us, too far away for me to communicate with her, but she, at least, is alive. I think we must believe that if all the Catalysts were brought together for a purpose, they will be brought together once again. At least, I think that is what the prophecies said.”</p>
<p>“You think? Aren't you supposed to know all the prophecies?”</p>
<p>I shrug. “I must be honest. I... did not always pay attention to Uqzhaal's lessons.”</p>
<p>Diego laughs again. “Good to see that you're not perfect in everything.” His smile fades. “So that means we'll all meet up somehow. Even Aleister.”</p>
<p>“Yes, even Aleister.” I think for a few moments. “Even if I am tempted to attack him when we meet again.”</p>
<p>“You and me both.” Taking a deep breath, Diego shakes his head. “I can't believe he betrayed us, but... I kinda understand why. Can you imagine what it must've been like, growing up with Rourke as his father?”</p>
<p>“I cannot, and I do not want to. The Hydra is practiced in deception and he would know his son's weakest points. We must have faith that Aleister will awaken to the truth. After all, even Lila....” I trail off.</p>
<p>“Lila died for us. She was a traitor, but at the end....”</p>
<p>“At the end, she chose her friends over the Hydra. We must believe that Aleister will do the same.” I keep my gaze on the horizon as I go on. “And... when your world has been restored, you and your friends will be able to rejoin it. You can reunite with your family.”</p>
<p>“I guess so.”</p>
<p>The uncertainty in his voice catches my attention. “Is that not what you want?”</p>
<p>“I... guess so?” Diego tilts his head to look up at me. “I want to see my family – of course I want that! – but... ah, geez, I don't know what I'm trying to say.” </p>
<p>I wonder, does he hears how my heart thunders at those words? I want to grab him, to demand an explanation... but I remain still, trusting that he will tell me what he wishes me to know. </p>
<p>He looks away from me, his eyes finding the horizon once again.  Haltingly, he says, “I know this isn't the Vaanti way and you don't understand, but I spent most of my life trying to hide parts of myself from my family. There's no way they didn't know but it was like if we all agreed to pretend, everything would be fine. It... wasn't. I always thought that when I left for school, things would be different. That's why I decided to go clear across the country. But when I got there....” He sighs. “Nothing really changed. I just hid different parts of me.”</p>
<p>“You should not have to hide any part of yourself,” I murmur into his dark hair. A small bud of hope grows within me when he relaxes into my embrace.</p>
<p>“I know it... wasn't the best introduction, but ever since I've been with the Vaanti, I've been thinking about a lot of things. I think maybe because you guys didn't know anything at all about humans, you didn't expect me to be anything. So for the first time, I could just be... me.” He takes a deep breath. “And between the Catalysts and the Vaanti, I think I have more close friends here than –” He nods at the ocean. “Than in all of that.”</p>
<p>I think about his words. “Mauri told me once that he did not expect to like you. But he does, and he is not alone. Many of Elyys'tel's people like you.”</p>
<p>“Ahhh, they just like the stories I tell.” He blushes as he says this.</p>
<p>“Yes, they do. That does not mean that they do not like you for yourself as well.” I look down at him. “It is strange. You say that you have friends among the Vaanti, but you seem reluctant to believe that they like you in return. Why is that?”</p>
<p>He opens his mouth to answer, then stops and frowns. “I... guess that's something else I should think about.”</p>
<p>“You should.” I pull him closer and rest my chin on the top of his head. I like the way our bodies fit together. “But before you do that, we should go and see what Raj is doing to my fish.”</p>
<p>“Hey, he's a really good cook. You liked what he did with the crabs yesterday, right?”</p>
<p>“I did, yes.” In spite of the circumstances, I have enjoyed getting to know Raj and Michelle. “So I suppose I will trust him tonight as well.”</p>
<p>“That's nice of you. Soooo. That means we can stay here a while longer, right?”</p>
<p>I bend my head down. In the moment before we kiss, I say, “We can stay together as long as you want.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Nine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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“I suppose that is the last of it.” I look around the elyyshar's chambers, feeling a little lost. I have divided most of my mother's possessions among her friends. Her sewing basket and a few dresses sit tucked away in a chest and her curtains still cover the windows, but that is all of her that remains here. I have moved my belongings in but somehow, they do not seem to take up as much space as they had in my old quarters. The rooms seem bare and hollow to me. “Now I know why Mother always said this was too much for one person.”</p><p>Paravet readjusts the shield she is hanging on the wall and glances over her shoulder. “Then it is fortunate that there will be more than one person living here.” When I do not answer, she sighs and turns to me. “Varyyn, you must be patient. Diego will return as soon as he is able.”</p><p>“I know he will.” And I do know this. I believe it.</p><p>I need to believe it.</p><p>After the nightmarish collapse of the Celestial, we did not have time to grieve the loss of Taylor. It was only a matter of moments before the Catalysts started receiving messages on their devices and we knew that we had at most a few hours to prepare for the arrival of outsiders. We scrambled to restrain Rourke and remove all traces of my people's presence, and then the Catalysts huddled together as they attempted to come up with an explanation for everything that had happened.</p><p>Diego and I stood apart, clinging to one another. He swore that he would not leave... and oh, how I wanted to tell him to stay. But although they said nothing out loud, the faces of his friends told me of what would happen if he did not return with them, and he understood that as well as anyone.</p><p>As the first boats came into sight, I faded away into the jungle. I stayed there, hidden, until the last boat disappeared into the darkness. Perhaps it was simply my own desires, but I was sure that Diego's eyes lingered as long as possible on my hiding place.</p><p>Just as he had promised, Aleister was the first to return, with Jake as his pilot. I was surprised at first to see that Estela was with them; however, it did not take long for me to understand. They are siblings and they are both the heirs of Rourke, and they are determined to act as one in undoing as much of their father's harm as possible. And Estela... Estela needed to revisit the last place she saw Taylor. She did not discuss it with me but we shared a long look; how could I not understand?</p><p>At least I can hope that my love will return soon.</p><p>And I do hope.</p><p>Aleister, Estela and I made plans for the clearing of their father's various facilities throughout the island. We all wanted it finished as quickly as possible, of course. My warriors had already removed many of the corpses of Rourke's soldiers. We could not allow so many of them to pollute our ocean burial grounds so we fed them to the volcano – it seemed the best place for them. We left enough bodies to lend credence to the claims that Rourke used a private army to hold the Catalysts.</p><p>The Celestial was the first building to come down. It was stripped of any useful technology and the remaining debris was loaded onto huge ships for disposal elsewhere. The mountain lodge remains largely untouched; we saw little threat within the building itself and Catalysts and Vaanti alike thought it might be useful in the future. The observatory came down, however, and last and most painstaking was the dismantling of the far northern facility. Aleister and Estela brought in hospital ships and medics for the retrieval of the missing guests, still slumbering in their stasis chambers. I watched from the shadows until I saw the ones I needed to see, an elderly couple with dark skin and white hair. They were carried out side by side, holding hands and smiling and speaking weakly to each other. Once I knew that they still lived, I could withdraw to Elyys'tel.</p><p>Now, we are attempting to plan for what might come next. Estela and Aleister have assured the Vaanti that they intend to keep unwanted visitors away. As far as the outside world is concerned, the siblings are the owners of our island and they have agreed to pretend as if this is the truth. They have plans to bring in workers to restore some method of communications but, as they have done before, they will inform me well in advance so my people can stay away from the affected area. The docks and the airfield still stand, and there will soon be a permanent structure built for the Catalysts' use.</p><p>For our part, the Vaanti are resuming our normal lives... and yet, so many things are different. We have lived for years under threat by the Hydra and sometimes it almost seems that there are those who miss the old ways and the structure that our needed vigilance lent to our days. Seraxa is not among them. She is still my war chief but she is surprisingly at peace with her reduced role. Rather than maintaining our defenses, she has shifted to a more protective stance. Our warriors now patrol the coast to watch the waters and the skies for signs of visitors, and she concedes privately that she is grateful her son will have a chance to attain adulthood in a time of peace.</p><p>I have started to gather a group of trusted advisors, including emissaries from our other cities and villages. It has always been our way that the elyyshar's decrees were issued without their input, but I suspect this might not be the best way to continue. Without a unifying outside threat, our people will need to learn to work together. I have no intention of watching my people choose sides in another war among ourselves.</p><p>It has been difficult but I have managed to dodge the questions about the true nature of the Endless or of Taylor; I see little benefit in telling the Vaanti that our faith was manufactured to protect the Catalysts. Uqzhaal's absence has been noted and mourned, of course, and I have not challenged the assumption that he met his end because of the Hydra, or that Taylor gave up her life to join with Vaanu to save everyone and everything. It is close enough to the truth to be not quite a lie but still, it troubles my conscience. I never fully understood when my mother spoke of the burdens of leadership but I imagine she was thinking of choices like this. Perhaps now that Raan'losti has come and gone and we survived, my people will be able to say farewell to prophecies. Ultimately, I suppose it does not matter that Uqzhaal allowed his faith to fester into rage and hatred. Many of the Endless's teachings still bring great comfort and, as Diego once told me, an idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.</p><p>I am startled out of my reverie by a gentle tug at my braid. “You are doing it again,” Paravet says.</p><p>“What am I doing?” But I smile as I say it.</p><p>“Missing Diego. We have worked hard enough for now – come and eat with me.”</p><p>“Very well.” I give the rooms one final look before I follow her out of my chambers and through the throne room.</p><p>A short distance from the Great Tree, we come across Mauri. T'kal sprawls nearby, not entirely asleep. “So this is why you were too busy to help Varyyn finish moving.”</p><p>Mauri grins up at us. He is occupied once again with one of the large shining panels that Aleister brought on his last visit. “Oh, I am sorry. Was that the plan for this morning?” He stands and returns Paravet's kiss.</p><p>“You know it was.” I examine the panels. “But it seems that you were not wasting time.”</p><p>He looks proudly at his work. “I believe everything is connected in the right places, if I have followed Grace's charts in the correct way.” He looks far above our heads through the canopy of leaves. “If it is, we shall have to move it somewhere up nearer the sun.”</p><p>Paravet examines the shining object skeptically. “And this will turn sunlight into... precisely what?”</p><p>“An energy that can be used to... well, make things work. It is much cleaner and quieter than the methods the Hydra used.” Frowning to himself, he steps back and stares up at the Great Tree. “There is a spot near your balcony that is not covered by many leaves. If we put this first panel there, then Diego will be able to use whatever devices he brings with him. He told me of one that –” He catches my expression and sighs impatiently. “He is doing it again,” he says to Paravet.</p><p>“I know he is. I think we should feed him.”</p><p>“An excellent idea.” He ducks into a nearby kitchen and returns with several skewers of meat. His interest captured, T'kal stands, stretches, and approaches us. “Tell your cat to go find his own meal, Varyyn,” Mauri says as he passes around the skewers.</p><p>“He is not my cat.”</p><p>“He might as well be, as often as he is nearby.” Paravet leads the way to a nearby table. She casually tosses a chunk of meat to T'kal; just as casually, the sabertooth snatches it from the air.</p><p>We sit down in the crowded square and eat, and my friends chatter as they attempt to cheer me up without being too obvious about it. I know they mean well, and I know they are correct: Diego has only been gone a few months. I understand that he has many things to take care of in his world and I must be patient. Most of Elyys'tel is united in an eagerness for his return but there have been a few – a very few – who have dropped hints that it might be better if he stayed away. Only Dalaunaa was careless enough to directly question me about the wisdom of joining with an outsider. I thought I did not show my anger... but the next day Dalaunaa had a broken nose, Paravet had bruised knuckles, and Seraxa had bland assurances that all was well within the ranks of her warriors. There were no more hints after that.</p><p>I look up as Paravet throws another piece of meat to T'kal. “Stop feeding my cat.”</p><p>“I thought he was not –” Our conversation and that of everyone nearby stops as we hear a warning call from the beach. Without a word, I head in that direction with Paravet, Mauri and T'kal close behind me.</p><p>We arrive at the beach just as the airplane comes into view from the north. It appears to be Jake's plane but I wait anxiously until I see the left wing dip once... twice... we all relax when it dips a third time and the plane changes direction to head for the landing strip several miles away.</p><p>Mauri looks at me curiously. “Aleister and Grace only left five days ago. I thought it would be longer until their next visit.”</p><p>“So did I. Perhaps they are bringing you some more panels? At any rate, Jake would have signaled us if there was trouble.” I look over at Seraxa as she approaches us. “Who is patrolling near the airfield today?”</p><p>“Anzhaal and Fedra. If you wish, I can send several warriors to meet the plane and provide an escort back to Elyys'tel.” She pauses before casually adding, “Or perhaps you would like to go, my elyyshar.”</p><p>So she is trying to distract me as well. Very well; if my people insist on caring for me, I suppose I must indulge them. “That is a good idea. It is a fine day for a walk – would you two like to accompany me?”</p><p>“But I was going to –” Mauri falls silent under matching stern glares from Seraxa and Paravet. “I was going to suggest the same thing.”</p><p>And so the three of us walk along the freshly-made pathway to the airfield. We talk of many things and in spite of myself, I find my mood lifting. T'kal strolls beside us, weaving in and out of the underbrush. When we are a short distance from our destination, the sabertooth stops in his tracks. He sniffs the air and his ears swivel forward; without warning, he shoves past me and bounds toward the the airfield.</p><p>“Do you think he sensed trouble?” Paravet asks.</p><p>“No, I think he sensed his next meal. Come, let us follow him.” </p><p>We come out of the jungle and I see Jake sitting with Fedra and Anzhaal. He grins when he sees me and he lifts a bottle in my direction. </p><p>Anzhaal turns and raises the bottle he is holding as well. “We have guests, my elyyshar!” he calls. “And this is beer. You must try it!”</p><p>“If you insist, I suppose I... I....” I stop.</p><p>And I stare.</p><p>And Diego comes the rest of the way out of the airplane just in time for T'kal to barrel into him, knocking him to the ground. He laughs and wraps his arms around the big cat's neck. </p><p>I barely hear Paravet's delighted whoop, and I barely feel Mauri slapping my shoulder. I can barely breathe. </p><p>And then... surely I must have moved – how else could I be holding my husband in my arms? How else could I feel his arms around me, hear his heart beating against my chest, smell his hair as I bury my face in his neck?</p><p>Finally, I lower him to the ground and take his face in my hands. Stupidly, I say, “You shaved.”</p><p>He nods. “Yeah. Do you like me without the beard?”</p><p>“I... like your face.”</p><p>He wipes away the tears I did not realize were falling, and he smiles – and oh, how the beauty of his smile pierces me – and he pulls my head down to his. The moment before our lips meet, he whispers, “Hi, honey. I'm home.”</p><p>.<br/>
.<br/>
.</p><p>“I bet it was a great party,” Diego murmurs into my ear.</p><p>I can hear the distant sounds of the celebration far below us. “Mmm. It is still going on. I apologize for making you miss it.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, this is fun too.” I can feel his smile against my neck.</p><p>“We will have another feast tomorrow, and we will stay for most of it. And another feast the day after. How many would you like?” We lie tangled together in my bed, in our bed, his body warm and solid against my back. </p><p>He laughs softly. “I don't expect a feast every day. Once a week will be fine.”</p><p>“Whatever you wish.” I close my eyes, feeling true happiness for the first time since I watched his boat disappear into the darkness. “Every week, then. We will feast for as long as you are in Elyys'tel.”</p><p>“As long as I'm...? Oh.” Tightening his arm about my waist, he curls into me and rests his chin on my shoulder. “Yeah, about that. It's almost seven months until next Niala'rei –  I'm kinda worried that when I left, I messed up the whole 'joined for eternity' thing, you know. I really want to do this right, so that's seven months and then a year and a day. And after that – hey!” His startled yelp turns into a laugh as I pull him around so he is facing me. “Somehow I managed to forget how strong you are.”</p><p>I pull back a little. “I am sorry –”</p><p>He relaxes into me once more. “Do I look like I mind? 'Cause I don't.” He lifts his hand to brush my hair back from my face. “Sorry. I should've told you this as soon as I got off the plane... I'm here for good, Varyyn. I'm staying.” I open my mouth but he covers it with his hand. “I thought about this every single day that we were apart. I belong here, and I belong with you. I'm afraid you're stuck with me.”</p><p>I take his hand in mine and kiss it before I speak. I want him here with me so badly, more than I have ever wanted anything, but I know it cannot be that simple. “Diego, your family, your schooling... there are so many things you need to consider.”</p><p>“And I've considered them, over and over again. I can finish school online – I'll explain how that works later – and my parents....” He sighs, but his eyes are untroubled. “We talked. They're glad I'm alive, and they're sorry for the way things were before. But... I haven't changed, and I've changed more than they can understand. They really don't know what to make of me anymore. I'll keep on talking to them and I'm sure I'll go back to visit, and I still want to show you my world – that's going to be complicated so it'll take some work to figure out.” All I can do is nod. “And... there's Taylor. I'm still sorting out who she was, and what she was, and I'm still getting my head around all of that. I think this is the place to do that.”</p><p>“And Estela? What of her? Because she is also welcome here, whenever and for as long as she wants.”</p><p>“I know. And I think she knows she has a place here too. But... it's different for her. It's harder and it hurts too much right now. All of us are doing what we can to help her, especially Aleister and Grace. We're all trying to get her through this. But as for me, I need to be here because this is my home. You're my home.”</p><p>Swallowing hard, I press my forehead against his. “I... have missed you, every day that you were in your world.”</p><p>“I missed you too, so much I couldn't think about anything else. We belong together – it really is just that simple.” He makes himself comfortable against my chest. “I know it sounds kinda cheesy, but this is my world now. You're everything I need... well, I guess there are a few other things I need. I brought my computer. And clothes. And razors – oh, and toothpaste! I really missed toothpaste, I bet you're gonna love it.”</p><p>“I am sure I will.” I frown. “But... what is 'cheesy'?”</p><p>“Damn!” Diego sits up, startling me. “I wanted to bring some cheese, you're gonna love that too. Let me just write myself a note so I can remind Jake to bring some on his next trip –”</p><p>Wrapping my arms around him, I pull Diego back into our bed. “Tomorrow,” I say firmly.</p><p>“Okay.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “Tomorrow. There's plenty of time.”</p><p>And I smile, because I know it is the truth.</p>
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